Happy Retro Day! I think you can all figure out why I chose this to feature this week. And it’s sweet, unique, and fun. Enjoy! ~Halee

by RTF Staff Writer Debra Weiss

If God sent you a box of candy hearts, what would they say? Perhaps some of these things…

BE MINE

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” – John 3:16 (more…)

by Debra Weiss

When Jesus came into the region of Caesarea Philippi, He asked His disciples, saying, “Who do men say that I, the Son of Man, am?”

So they said, “Some say John the Baptist, some Elijah, and others Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?”

Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” – Matthew 16:13-16, KJV

One day as I mulled over God’s many names, I wondered why he had so many. I only have one name. Wouldn’t just ‘God’ perfectly describe him?

As I thought about it, I wondered if perhaps God wanted to be my everything. Maybe that was the purpose in all the names, because He is supposed to be our everything.

Some of my favorite names for God include:

Everlasting Father. “And His name will be called Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” – Isaiah 9:6

Redeemer. “For I know that my Redeemer lives, And He shall stand at last on the earth;” – Job 19:25

Anchor. “…we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast…” – Hebrews 6:19

Teacher. This man came to Jesus by night and said to Him, “Rabbi, we know that You are a teacher come from God; for no one can do these signs that You do unless God is with him.” – John 3:2

Mediator. “For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus…” – 1 Timothy 2:5

The people in our lives, they’ll always let us down but God won’t. God is always there. And he is enough to fill each ache, to renew our spirits, to lift us up.

Discussion: What are some of your favorite names for God? Is He your everything?

Debra Weiss is a freelance writer living on the East Coast. When she’s not writing or editing, she can usually be found at her website (http://www.debraweiss.net).

By Debra Weiss

“…He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

I stood in the unfamiliar room looking out through old ruffled curtains. They smelled like they had never been washed but somehow I didn’t care. I inhaled and couldn’t smell anything familiar, not our family dog, not the dirty socks my younger sister always hides under the couch, not the food we’d had for dinner.

Nothing felt familiar. Not the scratchy curtains or the mud brown carpet. Not the wood paneling on the walls or the door that had been taken off its hinges.

It’s so unfamiliar, I thought to myself. Unfamiliar. The word kept echoing in the empty room. Behind me I could hear my family moving from room to room of the house, examining closets and bathrooms.

We were in a large house off the beaten path, deep in a part of Tennessee I couldn’t pronounce much less find on a map. Months ago, my dad’s job had transferred him from sunny South Carolina to this…nothingness.

There were no streetlights or large super centers open twenty-four hours all day everyday. There were no nearby malls or doctor’s offices or bookstores. There was only nothingness. Trees, grass and a house plopped in the middle.

I tried not to think about the question that had been plaguing me for weeks, months if I were to be honest. The question that played a hundred times a day in my head. The one I tried to squelch each weekend my dad wasn’t able to make it home to see our family.

But standing there that moment, I could hear my parents talking to the real estate agent. They were making a bid for this awful, unfamiliar house. Something in me broke as I heard the realtor penning the details.

I blinked but it didn’t matter. The tears came anyway.

“Where are you, God?” I whispered in the stillness of the dark room. I stood sobbing silently for several minutes, numbly repeating my question until I felt a presence behind me.

My grandfather wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said nothing. I sniffed and tried to pull myself together.

After a moment, my grandfather spoke. His words were soft in the darkness, like he was carefully auditioning each word for the part before he spoke them. “I know you felt like God has left you. When the plant in Bristol closed down and I had to move, I was mad at God. I didn’t understand how he could move me. I felt like God had abandoned me.”

I was quiet. Was it possible someone else understood everything I felt? As I pondered this my grandfather opened his mouth again, “God never forsakes us. Never. No matter where we go or what happens.”

I wrapped my arm around his waist and squeezed tight, whispering my thanks to him. He gave me a hug and left the room so I could compose myself. I paused, searching for the words to tell God how I’d needed that reminder tonight, but couldn’t find any.

God…thank you, thank you for never leaving me…even when my fickle emotions said you’ve left. Thank you for always being near.

by Debra Weiss, RTF Staff Writer

DW: On your site, you state that femininity isn’t dead, it just needs to be reclaimed. What is the Biblical definition of femininity and how can we as young women reclaim it?

Hannah: Whew! What a question! Biblical womanhood is a controversial issue these days, and it’s difficult to define it in a single paragraph. A bare bones definition of “femininity” is simply “womanly-ness.” For us, that means being the women God calls us to be through His Word.

It means knowing that we’re equal in worth to the guys, but differ in our design and role. (Think of it like harmony and melody; they’re both different, but work together to make a more beautiful sound than either could alone.) But by “role,” I don’t mean that women are held captive to one specific cookie-cutter pattern. Our God-given talents cannot contradict our God-given femininity.

We’re meant to use all of our gifts–though our talents might not be displayed in the way the world generally expects women to use them. At the same time, obedience to God brings true freedom; the girl who submits to God’s role for women finds more joy than she could’ve ever concocted for herself.

DW: I have three younger sisters. One of them is nine and I’ve always wondered how do you leave behind a legacy not of physical beauty but of spiritual beauty, a beauty that does indeed come from the heart. Any thoughts on how we as girls can influence our younger sisters?

Lindsey: Oh, that’s a convicting one. I have two younger sisters also (ages 12 and 8), so this question really resonates with me; I’m always asking it too.

As the oldest, it’s been so important for me to recognize just how much our younger sisters do imitate us. We even have the potential to set the mood of a day by our example! (more…)

by Debra Weiss, RTF staff writer

When Hannah Farver and Lindsey Wagstaffe started Beauty from the Heart, it was a small blog devoted to encouraging girls to seek real beauty. But God had big plans for these two teenage girls!

The blog grew into a thriving website that quickly became one of the most popular sites for Christian girls on the net. Even more doors opened, and Hannah and Lindsey began speaking at conferences, sharing the message God had put on their hearts.

Today, Hannah Farver and Lindsey Wagstaffe sat down to talk to Real Teen Faith about beauty, plastic surgery, and femininity.

Debra Weiss: Hi Lindsey and Hannah! We’re so excited to have you here at Real Teen Faith today. What led to you two to start Beauty from the Heart? Did you both wonder if God could use ordinary girls like yourselves?

Hannah: Well, when Beauty from the Heart began, it was just a blog. We had different contributors and definitely enjoyed that stage of posting; but as time passed, we knew that Beauty from the Heart would eventually step extend outside the web. When I was sixteen (in 2006) I began writing a book based on the ideas we’d worked through on the blog. Five drafts later and three years afterwards, we’re working with a literary agent on publishing that book. (Yay!)

In 2008, Lindsey and I felt we should pray with our parents about the possibility of putting on a conference or two. That October, a friend called Lindsey and I out of the blue and invited us to speak in Virginia. Six months later, and we have three events scheduled for this summer and doors opening for more next year.

Of course, we did wonder, have wondered, and still wonder how God could possibly use people like us. We panic way too quickly and sometimes do feel overwhelmed with all the work on our plates. But as William Carey said, “Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.” In the end, that’s all any of us can do! Whatever happens, the results are in God’s hands. We just need to be willing vessels.

DW: The world today seems to be facing a ‘beauty crisis’. What are the dangers of defining words like modesty or beauty according to the world’s standards?

Lindsey: Romans 12:2 warns us not to “be conformed to the image of this world”, but urges us to pursue transformation by the renewal of our minds. When we define words like “modesty” and “beauty” according to the culture we live in, we aren’t taking our cues from Christ, but from fellow sinners– who will lead us into sin. That’s never safe. We can’t redefine modesty by modern standards without sacrificing the truth of the text, and undermining the authority of the Bible. From there we’ll only continue to slide further and further into worldliness, not Christlikeness.

DW: What is the true Biblical definition of beauty?

Hannah: The Bible talks about the magnificence of God’s creation. We know He designs all things well; in the Song of Solomon, a bride is praised for her external beauty, so we know that exists. But in the New Testament, another kind of beauty is talked about as being more valuable than the rest–and that’s the “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” So while God made every creature magnificently, and human beings most of all, the very highest beauty aspiration we could have is something that God works in our hearts to create inside of us.

DW: How do you feel about cosmetic surgery when used to fix ‘flaws’ like a large nose or small breasts? Should girls have plastic surgery?

Lindsey: Plastic surgery is quite valid in some cases– I’m grateful for modern technology that allows us to correct cleft lips and reconstruct bones after accidents. But the majority of plastic surgery that teen girls undergo is cosmetic, not serious, and it stems from self-absorption (displayed through insecurity and vanity). There’s a difference between taking care of our appearances and making drastic alterations out of dissatisfaction… and, I think, a craving for more attention.

Stay tuned — come back tomorrow for part 2

Debra Weiss interviews Laura Farrar

Laura Farrar is part of a courageous generation determined to reach out and do something about the problems they see in the world around them.

Because Laura Farrar has struggled with eating disorders, depression, and self-injury, she understands the pain and secrecy they bring. Discontent to just talk about these issues, Laura is determined to do something.

In 2008, Laura started the Dancing in the Rain Foundation. Through her organization, Laura hopes to start a shelter for hurting teens where her organization can offer crisis and intervention services to hurting adolescents so that they may experience God’s mercy and love while receiving the help they need.

Debra Weiss: First of all, Laura, it’s great to have you here at Real Teen Faith. I loved the name of your organization, Dancing in the Rain Foundation, as soon as I heard it. What’s the story behind the name?

Laura Farrar: Thanks, Debbie for having me! Our name was inspired by a few quotes I’ve heard over the years. One of those is “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” That’s the heart of what we believe in. The storms of life bring rain and hardship to our lives, but there is hope–we can learn to dance, cope, thrive and heal even in the midst of the pain.

DW: I understand you have faced your share of tough issues like an eating disorder and even struggled with self-injury. Like so many of the teens you minister to now, you were trapped. What set you free? Is there a moment that looking back you can say, that’s when the journey out began?

LF: For so many years I was caught in the trap of depression, self-injury, and compulsive eating, and in my high school years I just broke down.

Ultimately, God set me free. It wasn’t a quick thing at all–it’s very much a long, difficult process, but the journey to freedom was there waiting for me to decide that I wanted to change.

I would have to say that in my sophomore year of high school when I met with my youth pastor and told him what I was struggling with, my journey really began. He encouraged me to have an “extreme makeover” and begin to talk to people, which was something my social anxiety disorder had prevented. It has taken about four years of seeking God’s will in my life, being ministered to by mentors, Christian counseling and medication that has enabled me to find healing.

DW: Both in your writing and in your speaking, you’ve met serious issues head-on. People say that the truth will set you free then hide behind lies. Why is the secrecy of activities like self-injury and depression so hard to break?

LF: Most of the secrecy in behaviors like self-injury and depression, and situations like abuse and addictions is directly related to shame. Our society tends to be rather judgmental to those who aren’t “normal” and so admitting that you have a serious problem is extremely hard.

Also, especially for teens, they may not even realize that what they’re dealing with is a serious problem. I know in my life, I didn’t realize depression was a mental illness until I was midway through high school. Thankfully, there is a lot more education out there for younger students now, but I think that a middle schooler who is self-injuring still may not understand that SI is treatable, because to them it’s a really important coping method.

DW: The next question I have is how are we as a church enabling this secrecy and how can we bring things out in the open?

LF: Many churches perpetuate the idea that as Christians we shouldn’t have disorders or struggle with these kinds of issues. Sadly, I’ve met far too many people who actually think that depression, schizophrenia, bipolar and other very real disorders are either demon possession or directly related to sin and disobedience to God.

While I agree that there is a kind of spiritual depression that can happen when you’re not right with God, the majority of mental illness we see in Christians happens to those who are serving, love God and are involved in the church.

For these individuals, there is no way to admit their struggles for fear of being accused and judged. In order to bring things out in the open, we have to honest with each other. Leaders in the church need to talk about the prevalence of mental illness and how it can affect anyone–not just those in sin. Until we start talking about it–in sermons, small groups, youth groups, etc., people will remain uninformed.

DW: We’ve discussed the church as enabler. But what can we do to help these young people heal? Are there things the church can do to reach out and influence these hurting teens’ lives in a positive way for Christ?

LF: Absolutely. First, the church needs to become accepting of hurting souls. In the youth group that I work in, I always watch for students who sit in the back or don’t talk to many people. They are the first teens that I approach, hug and talk to. Reaching out and simply being nice to them is so key to their healing. They have to know they are loved and accepted.

If we sit in church and whisper to the person next to us about how so and so doesn’t look like they belong in church, we have just alienated someone who needs Christ just as much as us. The second thing we can do is mentor these students. Being friendly, getting to know them, taking them out to coffee…these are all ways we can encourage them to open up to us and really make a difference.

DW: For the teen that is reading this wondering, how can I help my friend with the eating disorder/self-injury/depression/whatever they’re facing, what is the single most important thing they can do for their friend?

LF: Be there for them. Without a doubt, the support that you can offer by giving them hugs, texting, talking on the phone in the middle of the night when they can’t sleep, writing letters, hanging out–those are the daily acts that save lives. If your friend is so depressed she/he can’t get out of bed, go to their house and watch a movie together. Let them know that you care and will be there for them as much as humanly possible.

DW: For the teen who is struggling with an addiction or eating disorder or another issue we’ve talked about and reading this, how can they get help? How can they reach out and end the secrecy?

LF: It’s crucial to find someone you trust and tell them what’s going on. This could be a parent, youth pastor, leader, mentor, teacher, relative, etc. If it’s easier, start by telling a close friend, and have them go with you to tell an adult.

If the first person you tell isn’t supportive or doesn’t know what to say or do, I urge you to go find someone else and tell them. There are so many people who really truly care and would do anything to help you. An adult who is active in your life will be the best person to help you report an abuser, find a therapist, and even approach your parents if you need to.

Breaking your silence will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but it’s worth it! It took me ten years to tell people that I’d been abused, but after I spoke up, everything got so much better. I had to realize that holding it in was going to kill me, and letting it out was going to save my life.

DW: Finally, what can parents do if they suspect their teen is struggling with depression or self-injury, any of these things you’ve mentioned?

LF: One of the big issues is that parents don’t like to admit their child has a problem. It’s so key if your child is moody, acting out, wearing long sleeves or pants in warm weather or just being very secretive to pay attention to what might really be going on. The best thing you can do for your child is help them get help–because honestly, most kids and teens don’t realize that something is wrong and probably aren’t going to ask for help.

As a parent, talk to your child. If they won’t talk to you, get connected with youth leaders or mentors–even their friends and try to figure out what’s going on. Sneaking around being their back to find out information probably isn’t a good idea, but it’s far better to know if they’re suicidal and prevent that than figure it out when it’s too late. Be honest with your kids, but don’t be harsh. It’s not their fault–they didn’t ask for these problems and they need you to be a constant support to lean on.

To learn more about the Dancing in the Rain Foundation, you can visit the website!

by Debra Weiss, RTF staff writer

I know Easter passed but I’m still thinking about the Resurrection and what it meant and still does mean. I happened upon this quote that I love….

Whoever reads the New Testament seriously, or gives thought to the impact which the apostles made upon their generation, must acknowledge that one outstanding historic event alone spurred that small band of 11 ordinary men to an amazing task of evangelization in their generation. Defying every obstacle, loss of home, persecution, even death itself, they evidenced the supreme relevance in their ministry of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. – Erling C. Olsen

This quote begs the question: Were are the ordinary Christians willing to evangelize others, even at the cost of all they hold dear, all they love?

What are we willing to give up, to sacrifice so that others may come to know His redeeming love?

In order to get the word out, to let others know what Jesus Christ had done in their lives, the apostles had to be willing to sacrifice, and not just anything but everything. Too many times we want to sacrifice smaller things, things that we won’t even miss. Is it any wonder Christians filled with plenty feel spiritually unfulfilled?

We want the best of both worlds. We want to say we made a sacrifice for the Lord but we don’t want to lose anything, either. We want to be armchair Christians, content to sit in our comfortable homes and debate the best ways to evangelize the world.

But true evangelizing must start with a sacrifice of self. Of all we hold dear, of all that ties us to this empty world, we must surrender.

Each Christian has different things to sacrifice. Spend some time with God today and ask him, “What’s holding me down to this world? What’s keeping me from ministering to others?”

Then wait…and listen.

Self-Respect: Finding Value in God’s Love
by Debra Weiss

I like the definition of self-respect on Wikipedia. Self-respect: the knowledge of one’s own worth. For a long time, I wasn’t sure of my worth. In and out of bad churches, I’d seen Christians at their worst. Disgusted, I’d turned away, opting instead to deny the existence of God.

The churches I’d been in taught me that I was defined by whether or not I completed a long to-do list of things that would supposedly make God happy. But I was miserable inside. I couldn’t live up to their lists and when I realized this, I felt like a failure. Truly worthless, that’s how I defined myself for three long years until I let God in. (more…)