“Sometimes I really don’t like my parents. I don’t think they understand me at all! I don’t know what to do- they’re driving me crazy! Help!” ~ James

hey James,

Parents can be hard to get along with sometimes, especially when they don’t seem to see your point-of-view. But I applaud your effort to work on this problem! Here are some things you can do:

1. Talk to your parents. I know sometimes it may seem absolutely futile, but they need to know how you feel. So ask them if you can sit down and have a talk sometime. Schedule a time if you have to, but make sure you have their full attention. (more…)

If you parent made a mistake that hurt you and they later said they are sorry, would you want to forgive them?

One lucky commentor will win a copy of Making It Real: Whose Faith Is it Anyway?

I am 15 years old. My dad is strange, to say the least. He’s sexually hurt others. He has had a ankle bracelet on for a while and just recently had it removed. My mother divorced him and we live with her.

The problem is that my mom works really long hours. I babysit my siblings and mow lawns to make extra money. Everyday, she comes home yelling and screaming. She will tell my siblings to clean house and me to do dishes and other chores. I will usually do my chores, but if the siblings don’t pick up their toys, we ALL get yelled at.

If I make a mistake, she says I’m like my dad.

I’ve attempted to cut myself, but haven’t had the nerve. I backtalked and got grounded for almost a month. My siblings do much worse and get away with it.

I have a boyfriend who is 16. We have been going out for over 7 months and my mother hates him.

I do admit I have an attitude, but I’m 15 for God’s sake! Almost all teen rebel and act like that around this time!

I was told by my friends that if I record her saying “If you don’t like it here, then you can leave” on tape, then I can actually leave and it would be ok because she TOLD me to leave. Is that true?

Is there any way that I can get away from her without going to live with my dad or changing schools?

N, age 15

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By Debra Weiss

“…He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Hebrews 13:5

I stood in the unfamiliar room looking out through old ruffled curtains. They smelled like they had never been washed but somehow I didn’t care. I inhaled and couldn’t smell anything familiar, not our family dog, not the dirty socks my younger sister always hides under the couch, not the food we’d had for dinner.

Nothing felt familiar. Not the scratchy curtains or the mud brown carpet. Not the wood paneling on the walls or the door that had been taken off its hinges.

It’s so unfamiliar, I thought to myself. Unfamiliar. The word kept echoing in the empty room. Behind me I could hear my family moving from room to room of the house, examining closets and bathrooms.

We were in a large house off the beaten path, deep in a part of Tennessee I couldn’t pronounce much less find on a map. Months ago, my dad’s job had transferred him from sunny South Carolina to this…nothingness.

There were no streetlights or large super centers open twenty-four hours all day everyday. There were no nearby malls or doctor’s offices or bookstores. There was only nothingness. Trees, grass and a house plopped in the middle.

I tried not to think about the question that had been plaguing me for weeks, months if I were to be honest. The question that played a hundred times a day in my head. The one I tried to squelch each weekend my dad wasn’t able to make it home to see our family.

But standing there that moment, I could hear my parents talking to the real estate agent. They were making a bid for this awful, unfamiliar house. Something in me broke as I heard the realtor penning the details.

I blinked but it didn’t matter. The tears came anyway.

“Where are you, God?” I whispered in the stillness of the dark room. I stood sobbing silently for several minutes, numbly repeating my question until I felt a presence behind me.

My grandfather wrapped an arm around my shoulder and said nothing. I sniffed and tried to pull myself together.

After a moment, my grandfather spoke. His words were soft in the darkness, like he was carefully auditioning each word for the part before he spoke them. “I know you felt like God has left you. When the plant in Bristol closed down and I had to move, I was mad at God. I didn’t understand how he could move me. I felt like God had abandoned me.”

I was quiet. Was it possible someone else understood everything I felt? As I pondered this my grandfather opened his mouth again, “God never forsakes us. Never. No matter where we go or what happens.”

I wrapped my arm around his waist and squeezed tight, whispering my thanks to him. He gave me a hug and left the room so I could compose myself. I paused, searching for the words to tell God how I’d needed that reminder tonight, but couldn’t find any.

God…thank you, thank you for never leaving me…even when my fickle emotions said you’ve left. Thank you for always being near.

Just Another Girl
by Melody Carlson
Read an Excerpt

Aster is the name of a flower. Almost a weed, really. And sometimes that exactly how Aster feels. Her older sister, Rose, has her own life to live and somehow Aster gets stuck with Lily, their special needs sister. It’s not that Aster doesn’t love Lily. She does. It’s that Lily demands 100% attention and she’ll do whatever it takes to get that attention. Their dad moved on and spends his time caring for the son he always wanted. Their mother is working, spending hours at her job that aren’t required, but that leave the chores and caretaking jobs to Aster. All of them.  All of the time.

Then the guy from school drops by and wants to hang out with her. Aster dreams up her freedom getaway plan and the pieces start to fall into place, and fall apart at the same time.

Melody Carlson writes about real life and real issues. Just Another Girl is one of her latests books and it’s good reading, especially if you’re trying to find your way to fit in life and even in your own family.

Check out all of Melody’s books at her website.

I’m speaking in chilly Chicago the end of this month about trust to a huge group of moms. The questions they are asking are:

Should parents trust their teens?

Do parents sometimes base the trust factor on a sibling and their mistakes, and it’s far from fair?

What should happen when trust is broken?

I surveyed hundreds of teens a while back and they had a lot to say on the topic. What about you? Should your parents trust you? Do you feel like once trust is broken that you never get it back? What happens when it’s the parent that’s not trustworthy? I know what I think. I wrote a book about it, but it’s what you say that matters.

Send me a link to a short video (less than a minute) on YouTube or GodTube telling RTF what you think.

Or comment here.

Or send an e-mail.

I’ll post the comments and links to RTF later. It’s a great discussion to have and lots of parents are waiting to hear your response.

Let me know if you want it to be anonymous.

Krystal Duke’s sister is bi-polar, and this high school teen wanted to get the word out about this mental illness and to let her sister know that she wasn’t alone.

She raised $5000 by forming “Team Chey” (her sis’s name is Chelsea) and over 50 people walked to raise cash to support programs helping others with this disorder.

To read the whole story, check out the The Daily Item, Sunbury, PA news article.

Krystal says it is important to watch what we say. When a person says stuff like “she’s so retarded or you’re so bipolar”, they’re throwing around words that can really hurt someone who has a loved one suffering.

Krystal’s faith was important. She has a tender heart for her sister. Rather than getting frustrated with her sister’s mental illness, she is working hard to let her know that she’s not alone.

How does Krystal’s story affect you? What does it teach each of us?

What can one teen do?  You can change the world by loving others, even if they are struggling with something you don’t understand.

From Melony H. (who used to be a teen in the youth group in my church, but who is now a 20-something mom):  “Suzie, Many years ago you told me to give my mom 5 hugs in a course of a week, do you remember that? I finally gave her that hug the other day, it’s been 15 years since I’ve hugged her. It was a little weird but it’ll get better the more I do it. Thank you so much for writing The Mom I Want to Be. I would have never looked through my parents eyes and understood what they were feeling when they were raising us. I have forgiven them because you helped me see.”