Archive for the 'dating' Category

July 24, 2006

~Real Question~

I need your advice and I don’t care if you tell the whole wide world. I’ve known this boy since the 5th grade and I liked him, and in the 9th grade my bestfriend told me he had a baby with someone else. I didn’t know what to really feel, I guess confused.

I’ve really tried to get over him because if I know if I like him anymore it would just hurt me more. Is that a good thing? I can try to be his friend.

Do you think I will ever get over him?

Do you think I should tell him how I feel for him either now or about the past?

~Real Answer~

Let’s take your questions one at a time. Okay?

“I don’t know what to feel.”

I can’t tell you how to feel, but I can tell you that feelings are the worst and least reliable way to figure out what to do. Feelings go up and down. Feelings change. Feelings don’t take into account your hopes and dreams and plans for life.

First, you are really young and I don’t mean that to disrespect you. Being young is cool, but it’s not the best time to make relationship plans (especially based on feelings).

If this guy had a baby at such a young age, his life is pretty tangled up and it involves the lives of others. Is this something you would want to take on? Probably not.

Being his friend isn’t a great idea because you’re still sorting through feelings, so maybe caring for him as a friend means that you’re not going to tangle up the mess any further.

I’ve really tried to get over him because if I know if I like him anymore it would just hurt me more. Is that a good thing?

Time will help you get over him. It’s awesome that you know that it’s not a great thing to be involved with him. I’m amazed at how many girls choose a guy that will only hurt them — whether it’s the way he treats her or the choices he makes — so it’s cool that you want more than that.

Do you think I will ever get over him?

Yes. 100% absolutely sure. : ) While you’re waiting for that to happen, make wise choices that take into consideration who you are, what you want in life, and whose you are (God’s). You deserve someone who will love God and you when the time is right. You deserve to be able to be a teen, rather than a grown-up with grown-up responsibilities and problems (like someone else’s baby). You also need to respect yourself enough that you will bring good things to a relationship when you are older.

Thanks for being so honest and open,

RT Faith

Do you think I should tell him how I feel for him either now or about the past?

Filed under: dating, real advice

May 24, 2006

I’m 17, dating a guy, and I have a question: how can you know when the guy you are dating really loves you?RTF Response:

If they respect you enough to wait

If they want the best for you

If they are unselfish

If they define intimacy as getting to know who you are on the inside

If they love God more than the relationship

If they exhibit self-control with their actions and words

If they honor you and God and invite him into the relationship

That’s a great foundation to build love on . . .

Here’s what scripture says about love in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self.

Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, Doesn’t have a swelled head, Doesn’t force itself on others, Isn’t always “me first”,

Doesn’t fly off the handle, Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, Doesn’t revel when others grovel

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, Puts up with anything, Trusts God always, Always looks for the best, Never looks back, but keeps going to the end.

Filed under: dating, real advice