by Mary Ann Frazier

I was hanging out with some friends recently. It was just after we had seen a movie, and we stopped by a store on the way home. 

Old feelings rose up in me. Feelings of worthlessness, rejection, and ugliness. At first they succeeded in bringing me down, but why was I was looking at what the world thinks of me instead of remembering what God thinks of me?

So I asked God to help me. A moment later, I snuck a peek at a randomly chosen verse in a little Bible booklet I had.

 At least I thought it was random.

The first words I saw were, “Christ in you, the hope of glory”. It was exactly what I needed to hear!  (more…)

by B.J. Hamrick

Summer camp has always been a favorite pastime of mine. Red hot dogs, cold showers, and blue food-coloring in my sister’s makeup (score!).

A while back I was asked to write an advertisement for a camp I attended as a kid. After I finished the ad the staff asked, “Do you think you could write something that would make kids WANT to come to camp?”

So I set out to do just that. I wrote about goats. And chickens. And bears. And plastic spiders under pillows. I wrote about toothpaste in the centers of Oreos.

The part the staff was really asking about, though, was would I… would I… would I (dare I say it?)… write about my CHANGED HEART?

See, summer camp changed me. Yes, I was still a practical joker. But somewhere between sewing up the legs in someone’s underwear (I have Lissa Halls Johnson to thank for that idea) and pouring ice down the backs of my friends (why did ANYONE hang out with me?), some truth erupted in my heart.

You know how it is. Campfires. Songs. Required devotions. Beautiful scenery. All these things left me begging for more of God. All these things left me knowing that I wanted Him more than anything. All these things left me praying that the change in my heart would last… forever.

In the words of Bebo Norman:

It’s a better place
Standing high upon this mountain
I’ve seen Your face
Full of the light
That holiest height
Can show…
~Bebo Norman

I think it’s that way for a lot of us. Whether we go to camp or not, God’s voice is a little easier to hear during these summer months.  There aren’t as many distractions. We’re on the proverbial mountaintop.

Then Life Happens.

Trust me, I’ve been there. And my friends have been there too. Over the years, we’ve wondered… what can we do to see our God-relationship thrive once the stresses of life hit again?

So as we head back to school this fall, here are a couple of things to help guide us on our way:

• Make time for God. We can’t hear Him speak unless we stop and listen. And what a blessing to experience more of Him! Be still and know that I am God…

• Avoid practical jokes. Just kidding.

• Keep hanging out with people who love Him. It’s easier to stay on track when others are walking in the same direction.

• Get up and try again when we’ve failed. Every relationship has ups and downs… why shouldn’t our relationship with God be the same way?

So let’s plan ahead before school starts. The awesome thing is – if we trust Him, God will make the changes in our hearts last a lot longer than red hot dogs or blue make-up. (And that’s a good thing, because my sister didn’t look that great as a blue smurf anyway.)

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BJ Hamrick loves to live and laugh on her blog, www.bhhamrick.com. She’s also super-excited to be a part of Real Teen Faith.

Do you wish you knew what it meant to be “called”?

Do you feel that God is leading you into ministry, but have no clue how to take the next step?

Do you want a mentor, but don’t know where to find one?

Check out Explore the Call, a site that offers podcasts where mentors share what it means to be called, how they started, and they answer questions from teens who want to make a difference.

It also offers links to sites that offer even more information, as well as interactive elements like a blog. It’s a great spiritual mentor site that is new and growing, and filled with content that will answer the big questions you’ve been asking about changing the world.

Jamin Goecker, RTF Staff 

Joshua Guthrie, 16, and his family has given things such as goats to people in poorer countries through an organization known as World Vision. At the age of 15, he set a goal to raise $8000 to put the project into affect. World Vision served as the inspiration for the project, but Joshua worked through an organization known as Baptist Global Response.

Jamin Goecker: Did you ever envision yourself doing something like this [raising funds for wells in Africa]?

Joshua Guthrie: In order to answer this, I need to give a bit of a background. My parents have always taught my sister and I to have a desire to give to the needy, and we have been supporters of World Vision for as long as I can remember. In case you are not familiar with them, they are an organization which focuses on taking funds from their supporters and getting it put to good use around the world for various needs. We have supported several children thought their organization, and my sister and I have made purchases at Christmases for needy children. I remember when we bought a goat once.

Anyway, if you are a supporter of the organization then you receive a catalogue from them once a month (I think). This catalogue contains items which you purchase not for yourself but for others around the world. It contains things such as farm animals, clothing, medicine, and irrigation supplies/tools, among many other things. Well, there happened to be a section dedicated to wells in the catalogue, and I had always thought it would be really cool to purchase one of the biggest items in the catalogue: the $10,000 well.

Just to clarify at this point: DfaD is not working through World Vision; we are working through Baptist Global Response (BGR). World Vision was simply my inspiration to want to get started on something
I really started to think a little more seriously about wanting to get one of those wells at the beginning of 2008; I was 15 at the time. Well, being 15 I knew that I wouldn’t be able to save up for it all myself; I would have to raise it.
All of this to come to the answer to your question: yes and no.

I believe that I had always known that the possibility existed (all things are possible with God, after all!), but if you had asked me at the beginning of 2008 if I thought I would be doing a fundraiser for wells in Africa over the fall of that year then I would have probably answered no. I knew that I had the desire to do something, I just didn’t know how to get started.

Jamin Goecker: Did you see yourself as a leader when you started? (more…)

by Debra Weiss, RTF Staff Writer

DW: On your site, you state that femininity isn’t dead, it just needs to be reclaimed. What is the Biblical definition of femininity and how can we as young women reclaim it?

Hannah: Whew! What a question! Biblical womanhood is a controversial issue these days, and it’s difficult to define it in a single paragraph. A bare bones definition of “femininity” is simply “womanly-ness.” For us, that means being the women God calls us to be through His Word.

It means knowing that we’re equal in worth to the guys, but differ in our design and role. (Think of it like harmony and melody; they’re both different, but work together to make a more beautiful sound than either could alone.) But by “role,” I don’t mean that women are held captive to one specific cookie-cutter pattern. Our God-given talents cannot contradict our God-given femininity.

We’re meant to use all of our gifts–though our talents might not be displayed in the way the world generally expects women to use them. At the same time, obedience to God brings true freedom; the girl who submits to God’s role for women finds more joy than she could’ve ever concocted for herself.

DW: I have three younger sisters. One of them is nine and I’ve always wondered how do you leave behind a legacy not of physical beauty but of spiritual beauty, a beauty that does indeed come from the heart. Any thoughts on how we as girls can influence our younger sisters?

Lindsey: Oh, that’s a convicting one. I have two younger sisters also (ages 12 and 8), so this question really resonates with me; I’m always asking it too.

As the oldest, it’s been so important for me to recognize just how much our younger sisters do imitate us. We even have the potential to set the mood of a day by our example! (more…)

by Debra Weiss, RTF staff writer

When Hannah Farver and Lindsey Wagstaffe started Beauty from the Heart, it was a small blog devoted to encouraging girls to seek real beauty. But God had big plans for these two teenage girls!

The blog grew into a thriving website that quickly became one of the most popular sites for Christian girls on the net. Even more doors opened, and Hannah and Lindsey began speaking at conferences, sharing the message God had put on their hearts.

Today, Hannah Farver and Lindsey Wagstaffe sat down to talk to Real Teen Faith about beauty, plastic surgery, and femininity.

Debra Weiss: Hi Lindsey and Hannah! We’re so excited to have you here at Real Teen Faith today. What led to you two to start Beauty from the Heart? Did you both wonder if God could use ordinary girls like yourselves?

Hannah: Well, when Beauty from the Heart began, it was just a blog. We had different contributors and definitely enjoyed that stage of posting; but as time passed, we knew that Beauty from the Heart would eventually step extend outside the web. When I was sixteen (in 2006) I began writing a book based on the ideas we’d worked through on the blog. Five drafts later and three years afterwards, we’re working with a literary agent on publishing that book. (Yay!)

In 2008, Lindsey and I felt we should pray with our parents about the possibility of putting on a conference or two. That October, a friend called Lindsey and I out of the blue and invited us to speak in Virginia. Six months later, and we have three events scheduled for this summer and doors opening for more next year.

Of course, we did wonder, have wondered, and still wonder how God could possibly use people like us. We panic way too quickly and sometimes do feel overwhelmed with all the work on our plates. But as William Carey said, “Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.” In the end, that’s all any of us can do! Whatever happens, the results are in God’s hands. We just need to be willing vessels.

DW: The world today seems to be facing a ‘beauty crisis’. What are the dangers of defining words like modesty or beauty according to the world’s standards?

Lindsey: Romans 12:2 warns us not to “be conformed to the image of this world”, but urges us to pursue transformation by the renewal of our minds. When we define words like “modesty” and “beauty” according to the culture we live in, we aren’t taking our cues from Christ, but from fellow sinners– who will lead us into sin. That’s never safe. We can’t redefine modesty by modern standards without sacrificing the truth of the text, and undermining the authority of the Bible. From there we’ll only continue to slide further and further into worldliness, not Christlikeness.

DW: What is the true Biblical definition of beauty?

Hannah: The Bible talks about the magnificence of God’s creation. We know He designs all things well; in the Song of Solomon, a bride is praised for her external beauty, so we know that exists. But in the New Testament, another kind of beauty is talked about as being more valuable than the rest–and that’s the “unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.” So while God made every creature magnificently, and human beings most of all, the very highest beauty aspiration we could have is something that God works in our hearts to create inside of us.

DW: How do you feel about cosmetic surgery when used to fix ‘flaws’ like a large nose or small breasts? Should girls have plastic surgery?

Lindsey: Plastic surgery is quite valid in some cases– I’m grateful for modern technology that allows us to correct cleft lips and reconstruct bones after accidents. But the majority of plastic surgery that teen girls undergo is cosmetic, not serious, and it stems from self-absorption (displayed through insecurity and vanity). There’s a difference between taking care of our appearances and making drastic alterations out of dissatisfaction… and, I think, a craving for more attention.

Stay tuned — come back tomorrow for part 2

Debra Weiss interviews Laura Farrar

Laura Farrar is part of a courageous generation determined to reach out and do something about the problems they see in the world around them.

Because Laura Farrar has struggled with eating disorders, depression, and self-injury, she understands the pain and secrecy they bring. Discontent to just talk about these issues, Laura is determined to do something.

In 2008, Laura started the Dancing in the Rain Foundation. Through her organization, Laura hopes to start a shelter for hurting teens where her organization can offer crisis and intervention services to hurting adolescents so that they may experience God’s mercy and love while receiving the help they need.

Debra Weiss: First of all, Laura, it’s great to have you here at Real Teen Faith. I loved the name of your organization, Dancing in the Rain Foundation, as soon as I heard it. What’s the story behind the name?

Laura Farrar: Thanks, Debbie for having me! Our name was inspired by a few quotes I’ve heard over the years. One of those is “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” That’s the heart of what we believe in. The storms of life bring rain and hardship to our lives, but there is hope–we can learn to dance, cope, thrive and heal even in the midst of the pain.

DW: I understand you have faced your share of tough issues like an eating disorder and even struggled with self-injury. Like so many of the teens you minister to now, you were trapped. What set you free? Is there a moment that looking back you can say, that’s when the journey out began?

LF: For so many years I was caught in the trap of depression, self-injury, and compulsive eating, and in my high school years I just broke down.

Ultimately, God set me free. It wasn’t a quick thing at all–it’s very much a long, difficult process, but the journey to freedom was there waiting for me to decide that I wanted to change.

I would have to say that in my sophomore year of high school when I met with my youth pastor and told him what I was struggling with, my journey really began. He encouraged me to have an “extreme makeover” and begin to talk to people, which was something my social anxiety disorder had prevented. It has taken about four years of seeking God’s will in my life, being ministered to by mentors, Christian counseling and medication that has enabled me to find healing.

DW: Both in your writing and in your speaking, you’ve met serious issues head-on. People say that the truth will set you free then hide behind lies. Why is the secrecy of activities like self-injury and depression so hard to break?

LF: Most of the secrecy in behaviors like self-injury and depression, and situations like abuse and addictions is directly related to shame. Our society tends to be rather judgmental to those who aren’t “normal” and so admitting that you have a serious problem is extremely hard.

Also, especially for teens, they may not even realize that what they’re dealing with is a serious problem. I know in my life, I didn’t realize depression was a mental illness until I was midway through high school. Thankfully, there is a lot more education out there for younger students now, but I think that a middle schooler who is self-injuring still may not understand that SI is treatable, because to them it’s a really important coping method.

DW: The next question I have is how are we as a church enabling this secrecy and how can we bring things out in the open?

LF: Many churches perpetuate the idea that as Christians we shouldn’t have disorders or struggle with these kinds of issues. Sadly, I’ve met far too many people who actually think that depression, schizophrenia, bipolar and other very real disorders are either demon possession or directly related to sin and disobedience to God.

While I agree that there is a kind of spiritual depression that can happen when you’re not right with God, the majority of mental illness we see in Christians happens to those who are serving, love God and are involved in the church.

For these individuals, there is no way to admit their struggles for fear of being accused and judged. In order to bring things out in the open, we have to honest with each other. Leaders in the church need to talk about the prevalence of mental illness and how it can affect anyone–not just those in sin. Until we start talking about it–in sermons, small groups, youth groups, etc., people will remain uninformed.

DW: We’ve discussed the church as enabler. But what can we do to help these young people heal? Are there things the church can do to reach out and influence these hurting teens’ lives in a positive way for Christ?

LF: Absolutely. First, the church needs to become accepting of hurting souls. In the youth group that I work in, I always watch for students who sit in the back or don’t talk to many people. They are the first teens that I approach, hug and talk to. Reaching out and simply being nice to them is so key to their healing. They have to know they are loved and accepted.

If we sit in church and whisper to the person next to us about how so and so doesn’t look like they belong in church, we have just alienated someone who needs Christ just as much as us. The second thing we can do is mentor these students. Being friendly, getting to know them, taking them out to coffee…these are all ways we can encourage them to open up to us and really make a difference.

DW: For the teen that is reading this wondering, how can I help my friend with the eating disorder/self-injury/depression/whatever they’re facing, what is the single most important thing they can do for their friend?

LF: Be there for them. Without a doubt, the support that you can offer by giving them hugs, texting, talking on the phone in the middle of the night when they can’t sleep, writing letters, hanging out–those are the daily acts that save lives. If your friend is so depressed she/he can’t get out of bed, go to their house and watch a movie together. Let them know that you care and will be there for them as much as humanly possible.

DW: For the teen who is struggling with an addiction or eating disorder or another issue we’ve talked about and reading this, how can they get help? How can they reach out and end the secrecy?

LF: It’s crucial to find someone you trust and tell them what’s going on. This could be a parent, youth pastor, leader, mentor, teacher, relative, etc. If it’s easier, start by telling a close friend, and have them go with you to tell an adult.

If the first person you tell isn’t supportive or doesn’t know what to say or do, I urge you to go find someone else and tell them. There are so many people who really truly care and would do anything to help you. An adult who is active in your life will be the best person to help you report an abuser, find a therapist, and even approach your parents if you need to.

Breaking your silence will be the hardest thing you’ll ever do, but it’s worth it! It took me ten years to tell people that I’d been abused, but after I spoke up, everything got so much better. I had to realize that holding it in was going to kill me, and letting it out was going to save my life.

DW: Finally, what can parents do if they suspect their teen is struggling with depression or self-injury, any of these things you’ve mentioned?

LF: One of the big issues is that parents don’t like to admit their child has a problem. It’s so key if your child is moody, acting out, wearing long sleeves or pants in warm weather or just being very secretive to pay attention to what might really be going on. The best thing you can do for your child is help them get help–because honestly, most kids and teens don’t realize that something is wrong and probably aren’t going to ask for help.

As a parent, talk to your child. If they won’t talk to you, get connected with youth leaders or mentors–even their friends and try to figure out what’s going on. Sneaking around being their back to find out information probably isn’t a good idea, but it’s far better to know if they’re suicidal and prevent that than figure it out when it’s too late. Be honest with your kids, but don’t be harsh. It’s not their fault–they didn’t ask for these problems and they need you to be a constant support to lean on.

To learn more about the Dancing in the Rain Foundation, you can visit the website!

Joshua Guthrie was an average sophomore student. One day he read a book called Do Hard Things and he was challenged to change the world.

But where does a 15-year-old guy begin?

He started in Darfur. Sudan has a severe water well shortage. One community of 6,000 people walked 4 hours to collect water to drink or to clean. This shortage caused diseases and death in communities.

Boring one well cost $8,000. He had no clue how to raise that kind of money so he and his dad sat down and made a list of four goals. By the time he completed the last step, he had not only raised $8,000 but well over $11k.

Now he’s raising money for two wells in Darfur, a sum of $16,000.

What do we learn from Josh?

1. One person can impact 6,000 people.

2. Goals are important. Do you feel God calling you to something big? What is your first step? Your second? Third? Are you committed to staying on the task?

3. You can’t do it alone. Josh says that his faith was the most important ingredient. He trusted God every step of the way. He still is.

4. We can all change the world. Maybe it’s a lot smaller than raising $10,000 or maybe it seems bigger. Changing the World is not a burden that should weigh you down, coz you’re not big enough, but have you asked God to show you an opportunity to find out what He can do?

WHAT CAN ONE TEEN DO?

• Check out Josh’s webpage. Encourage him. Pray for this ministry and for Josh.
• Donate! Josh said that $5 and $10 are the bulk of donations he receives and every dollar counts! Maybe you would like to organize a fundraiser and send the donations to Dollar for a Drink.
• Ask God to begin to help you become “others centered”.