by Staff Writer Abbie Miller

Not to beat a dead horse or anything with this theme but… I’m single.

19.

Never dated.

Utterly single.

Sometimes this bothers me, and sometimes it doesn’t. But it would be slightly more glamorous and valiant, I think, if I was single by choice… if I had turned down scores of guys and went on my lone, merry way.

But that’s simply not the case.
In the past this is something I’ve struggled with, and something that’s made me feel like a freak of nature, and ask Am I not pretty enough? Is something WRONG with me? Especially lately, because every single human being I know has gotten married this year. Almost.
But gradually I’ve begun to realize a few things.

1.) I live in a small town, in a rather rural area
2.) There are approximately 2.9 billion men in the world I am NOT going to marry
3.) And (hopefully) only 1 that I am
4.) What made me think we had to meet before I was 19?

I decided a couple years ago after reading a popular book that I, too, was going to smooch dating goodbye. I was feeling very pious in my declaration not to date, but I think God smiled tenderly and brought me down a few notches by not sending along anyone who wanted to date me.

I was busy being violently single and then I realized… no one was trying to change my mind.

Oh. That reduced the drama factor by about 99%. So I chilled on the whole thing.

Question: If I had an endless string of guys asking me out now or then… would I date around?

Answer: I kind of hope not. Dating and I are not enemies; I don’t have a problem with him, although he does seem to be avoiding me rather frantically.

But I do think that what we wait longer for will be infinitely more valuable. Think about it; is a guy likely to cherish you as much when you’re his 57th girlfriend? Are you likely to search out his hidden depths when it seems like you’ve been with 20 other guys who were just like him?

Honestly, being a teenager is so much more than just worrying about who likes you, who’s “talking,” or having someone to give you chocolate and flowers on Valentines Day. Plenty of time for that later.

Chances are, the guy/girl you date in middle and high school won’t be the one you marry. And I think there’s a danger in giving away too much of our fragile identity. Let’s face it – it’s hard to know who we are, and adding another person into the equation can make it even harder.

Seek God. If He brings a wonderful Christian guy or girl into your life and says Here – this person is going to walk beside you as the two of you follow Me – then wonderful! If not, don’t freak out. A little waiting never hurt anyone.

I’m living proof.

Abbie is 19, lives in the country with her weird and wonderful family, and loves to read, write, play the violin and eat Krispy Kreme doughnuts. (Not at the same time.) She also loves God, kids, cooking, baking, umbrellas, and the color green. As she grows toward God, she writes about the strange, hilarious and wonderful journey at her blog, Abbie Writes.