By Guest Writer LuraKate Pijanowski

Sometimes the easiest way out is to run from our problems. Or so it seems… until the problems come running right back to us.

I know about that.

I ran away from a problem a couple of years ago and that lead to other, more severe problems. I felt sad all the time and I also felt really lonely and unloved. I just pretended I was fine and decided it would go away.

Well… feeling sad turned into depression. My depression led to me missing school, and when that happened I lost out on having friends. I told myself the reason I didn’t have any friends was because I was ugly, so I started skipping meals. That was seventh grade.

In ninth grade, my belief that I was ugly turned into an eating disorder. Even though I went to counseling and worked through that, and even though I now eat well, exercise healthy amounts, the thoughts still creep in sometimes.

Almost every day I tell myself that I’m ugly, or stupid, or just plain not good enough. And some days I’m tempted to do something to make me better, like start skipping meals again.

For instance, a couple days ago I had to go jean shopping and I realized I’d gone up a size. I was really hard on myself/. When I found out I was just one size bigger I left the mall, went straight home, and then headed for bed without eating dinner.

It seemed like that would fix my problems like nothing else could. Only I woke up a couple hours later and I knew I couldn’t skip meals… it was wrong.

I went downstairs and made some soup. When I was eating I thought about how jean sizes don’t tell you how beautiful you are. The only person who can decide how beautiful you are is you.

If you tell yourself you’re ugly, then others will see you that way too. But if you can feel good about yourself, people will see that and they’ll be so distracted by your inner-beauty they won’t care about what you look like.

I wish I could say that after a couple days of feeling beautiful it just becomes naturally, but there will always be a part of you saying you’re not good enough. I know from experience, though, that you have to fight off that voice and face the problem head-on.

Avoidance only works for so long. Tell yourself you are wonderful inside and out — and do your best to believe it.

Then you will truly be beautiful.

****

Lura-Kate Pijanowski is a high school junior who dreams of being a speaker, writer, and pastor. She also likes sewing, reading, kniting, and being with people.