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By RTF Staff Writer Shannon Meiers

It was 11:30 on a beautiful Sunday morning, and my youth pastor was saying something very thought- provoking. “Have you ever had anyone just treat you like dirt? Acted like you were their own personal doormat?”

Yep. Check that one off. I still grimaced when I thought about it. The person who called me their ‘friend’, the person who I thought was supportive had trashed my dreams, and acted superior on several occasions. Every time I talked to this person, I found myself wishing I hadn’t. I fought off the unpleasant thoughts, and turned back to the message.

“Guys,” he was saying. “You can totally tear up a girl by what you say. Your words have more impact than you know.” I nodded like a bobble head. You don’t have to tell me!  I thought ruefully. I just wish I didn’t have to learn the hard way.

So what do you do if you think you’re being used as a doormat?

1. Tell someone. Anyone. Mom, Dad, somebody who has more experience with life stuff than you do.

2.  Listen to them. My mom had told me for a long time to dump the friendship before I realized how bad it really was. Every time I would talk to this person, my head would hurt, my teeth would grind, and I would get achy all over. Just because I was letting somebody walk all over my emotions. Just because I didn’t listen.

Listen to the signs. How does this person make you feel when you talk for a few minutes, or email,  or  text, or IM? If it’s anything

3. Evaluate the friendship. If you can, look at old emails you’ve received from this person. Does every single one say something negative? Then you have a problem. Teasing has it’s place, but there’s a huge difference from teasing and verbal beatings. It’s only funny if it made the person who it was directed at laugh.

Listen to the signs. How does this person make you feel when you talk for a few minutes, or email,  or  text, or IM? If it’s anything other than a positive note, this may not be the best choice for a friend.

4. End the friendship.  Immediately. If you can, stay away from this person, but don’t let them rule your life. Act civil when you have to speak to them, but don’t tolerate any garbage. Walk away when you feel uncomfortable.

5. Talk it out. With God. Sure, He already knows what’s going on, but talking with the One who made you will make you feel better in any situation. Also, it might help you to look at some verses that define a healthy friendship or relationship.

6. Move on. Find new friends. I’ve found that the best friends always came just when I needed them, and always from an unexpected source. Be open to whoever God sends your way. You’ll be pleasantly surprised.

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Shannon is a high school freshman who is deeply passionate about  making a difference for Christ. She has enjoyed expressing herself with words since she was eight, and she says her handwriting and her spelling have not gotten any better. She currently lives in a small town in southwestern PA, which she enjoys walking through with her dog, Maggie.