By Guest Writer Xochi E. Dixon

So full of too much I’m about to burst.

Fed up with drama, I hunger, I thirst.

I yearn for something more,

something better than before.

I’ve chased it all, got it all,

but I’m still not filled at all.

I know I need You.

I’m pushed to seek You.

I cry out, heaving the hardships

of my heart on the altar.

But not for long.

I hesitate, snatch them back,

hoard them, hide them,

stuff them deep.

Lying to myself, I try to organize it,

rationalize it. I wrap it in a box wishing

I could lay it down, bend my knee

and let You lift me. But I can’t stop

running, clinging to the faux control.

Your truth.

I’m too blind to see it,

so lost I can’t receive it,

scared I won’t be able to heed it.

And so I sigh.

Shoulders bent. Life spent.

Pleading for You to take my pride.

Release me from the enemy’s mirror

so Truth reflects and I won’t fear.

Show me where You want to grow me.

Take me to that place where only

Your amazing grace can hold me.

Mold me, the whole me,

not just the parts I’m ready for,

but all of me

so I can live.

****

Xochi (So-She) Dixon is energized by Youth Ministry. She writes Teen Fiction, Non-Fiction, and poetry. She lives in Northern California with her amazing husband, two terrific sons, and a doggy-daughter named Jazzy. Xochi and her hubby teach an awesome group of teens at Vacaville’s First Baptist Church. She has a blast hanging out with her students. She loves encouraging, building-up, and pointing teens to a life-changing relationship with Jesus, no matter where she meets them. Where is the most interesting place she shared the Gospel? Sources say it was in April 2010 at Magic Mountain in Valencia, CA, while waiting in line to ride X-2. And, yes, that rollercoaster is totally INSANE!

Tappin’ Out is a part of Xochi’s Life Psalms collection.

Feedback? E-mail realteenfaith[at]gmail[dot]com.