“I really like this girl, but I don’t know how to tell her or if she even likes me. Help!” – Kurt

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hey Kurt,

You are not alone! We’ve all had trouble interpreting the actions of our crushes. Sometimes it’s like trying to read another language. But here are a couple things to consider:

How does she act around you? A girl will act differently around her crush than her friends. She may get really quiet or she may talk a lot more. Either way, it will be different. She will also find excuses to hang around the guy she likes. And she’ll watch him, though she may pretend not to or blush if he catches her watching.

What do your friends think? Sometimes it’s easy to misinterpret the actions of someone we like, and friends can be a great source of information. Just make sure you ask a friend who will be completely honest with you instead of just telling you what you want to hear.

But the only way to find out for sure? You know it already: ask her. So how do you do it? Well… for that I’ve got some “Dos” and “Don’ts” that will help you out.

DO:

• Get to know her better first. This is especially important if you’ve been liking her from a distance. Talk to her, invite her to hang with you and some friends. That way you can get to know each other better in a casual, low-pressure setting.
• Talk to her. After you’ve spend some time together, tell her how you feel and ask how she feels. I know it can be daunting but this way you can know for sure, and she’ll respect you for stepping up instead of playing games.
• Practice first. I know it sounds weird, but you need to know what you’re going to say to her and when. Spontaneous declarations may look good in the movies, but it usually doesn’t work out so well in real life and it could be awkward for both of you.

DON’T:

• Ask your friend to ask her friend how she feels about you. I know it’s tempting to protect yourself, but that situation can just get awkward and complicated. (Believe me. I’ve been there!)
• Write her a love letter. (Or at least don’t give it to her until you’ve been dating for a little while.) Too much all at once could scare her away, especially if she’s unaware of your feelings.
• Pressure her. If she needs some time to think, give her time. If you try to push her, she may just end up resenting you. Let her have the time she needs to figure out her own heart.

So there ya have it, Kurt. I hope that helps you (and all the other guys who find themselves in the same position). And remember, if things don’t work out, you’ll be okay. Your heart will heal, and you’ll find the right one who loves you more than anything.

If everything does work out, congratulations!

Halee

So what do you think, ladies? Do you have anything to add?