by RTF Assistant Editor Halee Matthews

There he was. The man of my dreams. Everything I ever wanted in a guy. It was all there– on a notecard.

See, I like lists. A lot. Any time I have lots of ideas floating around in my head, I make a list… or several. So naturally, when it came to the kind of guy I wanted to marry, I made a fantastic list.

I thought about values, personality traits, the works. I poured out my heart in a list of adjectives on an index card, and I kept it in my Bible.

It wasn’t an incredibly long list. It was practical. It contained 10 “must have” traits and 10 “can’t stands.” I’m pretty sure most people would have said, “You’re 14! How can you possibly know what you want?”

Oh but I knew what I would need in a spouse. How? Because I knew myself. I understood what traits a guy would need to have in order to be a good spouse for me, and so I listed them.

That list got me through some frustrating times, because whenever I was feeling conspicuously single, I could pull out my list and dream.

And any time I was interested in a guy, the list would come out to help me keep perspective. It’s hard to be unbiased about someone you like, isn’t it? But my list helped me realize what was important. And though it was tempting, I refused to change it to fit a guy. I made my list and waited for the guy who fit it.

It took me a little while to recognize him. At first he was just a good friend, until I took a second look. And then my trusty list helped me confirm the sneaking suspicion that this guy was worth serious consideration.

And then, when I was 20, I married him– the guy who fit every “must have” adjective and not a single “can’t stand.” No, he’s not perfect (my list was never about perfection), but he has all the traits I considered most important in a spouse, like a sense of humor (which was second only to “must be a Christian”).

I’m so grateful I made that list. It was like a personal guide whenever I needed some direction, the impartial friend I could always count on for advice. And when the right guy came along, it practically lit up like a Christmas tree.

So what about you? How do you dream of the future?

Do you have a special plan for recognizing your future spouse?

I’d love to hear your thoughts! You can comment here or email realteenfaith(at)gmail.com.