Advice from  RTF Founder Suzie Eller

A comment on the RTF site:

Well, I just found out my daughter had been cutting herself and i am soo scared she means the world to me and I thought our relationship was good but in reality now I think she hates me, she had in the last month read the book the virgin suicides I was freaking out today checked it out the plot and dont know what to do it has homcoming in it and Im scared shes not herself these days made crazy alegations against me I am really strict and I really dont know what to do.

Dear “Mom”,

Sometimes there are situations where we just need a little extra help. This sounds like one of those times. Many experts believe that cutting happens because a person struggles with talking about what is going on inside, and they don’t have the ability to express it. Once they cut, certain chemicals are released in the body and there is temporary relief. When those go away, the evidence of self-injury is both shaming and keeps a teen in the cycle of cutting.

There is a website that has a great deal of information for both the self-injurer and parent: http://self-injury.org/

A great book is Jan Kern’s Scars that Wound, Scars that Heal. Jan also speaks about self-injury in more detail on her website: http://jankern.com/2009/03/28/when-someone-who-is-self-injuring-comes-to-you/.

Another great resource is Mercy Ministries. They offer counseling and resources: http://www.mercyministries.org/

I pray these are helpful.

Suzie Eller