Last spring I became very good friends with this girl.  We found out that we had the same taste in movies – dorky superhero movies all the way!  Superhero cartoons were also pretty great.  We would hang out and watch a movie, then talk.  Slowly we started doing other stuff together, like meeting to go on walks and just talk.  It was a really nice, really close friendship.  Of course, there are these things called “feelings” that tend to creep in and make a mess out of things.  Through all of our time together I began to have these feelings.  She, on the other hand, did not.

Relationships between guys and girls can be very frustrating at time.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned about relationships it’s that guys have this habit (in general) of falling for our good female friends.  If we spend a lot of time with you girls, hang out with you a lot, there is this good chance that feelings are going to blossom in our hearts.

This girl and I had a lot of talks about where we stood, and what was going on between us.  As we got to talking we learned that there was a lot of miscommunication going on between the two of us.  When we had started hanging out we had a brief convo where we said it was just as friends, and that’s how it had truly started.  That’s not where it had stayed for me, though.  For her, thinking it was only as friends we began to act almost as if we were dating.  After the fact we even both admitted that it felt like we had been dating for a couple weeks.

There’s one thing that we discussed, and would have helped us a lot if we had implemented it earlier.  It’s something I really want to encourage opposite gender friends to do: Limit one on one alone time with friends of the opposite gender!  Girls: spending alone time with guys tends to send them this signal that you’re interested in them, whether intentional or not.  This doesn’t mean that you can’t hang out with them alone on occasion, but I would stress that you’re never alone alone.  If you have a great friend of the opposite gender catch up with them over coffee or something.  Sitting alone in the dark basement with the fireplace burning and talking is not the best idea – it can easily lead to miscommunication – trust me on this one!

I really want to stress that communication is key to any relationship, friendship or otherwise.  Talking about where you stand with someone of the other gender might seem a little awkward at times, but if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your feelings with the person you want to date then perhaps they’re not the person that you should be dating.