Worth It

by B.J. Hamrick, RTF Staff Writer

I’m not the type of girl who likes to be put in a box. But on a warm fall day in the mountains of North Carolina, my friend Laura talked me into it.

Literally.

“It’ll be fun,” she said. “Just crawl in.”

I questioned my sanity immediately. I questioned it as I watched the cardboard flaps close. I questioned it as my lungs inhaled the dust. I questioned it as my throat gasped for air. I questioned it as my mind screamed, “GET ME OUT OF HERE!”

But it was too late. Laura was in the front seat of the car, and I was in the back. The box — and my body — slammed into the sideboard every time we rounded another mountain curve.

This will be worth it, I told myself silently, so as not to breathe too much precious oxygen. This will be worth it. Then I prayed another silent round of, “If I should die before I wake.”

Finally we arrived at our destination. The car engine died and Laura shouted, “I’ll be right back!”

The door slammed again, and I soon realized that my friend was on the Lord’s time. After all, the Bible said a thousand years felt like a day to God. Apparently it felt that way to Laura, too, since she seemed to be taking her sweet time.

“Where are you?” I groaned. “Get me out of here!”

The next fifteen minutes were the longest of my life.

“You don’t have to do this,” sanity whispered. “You can bust out of this joint.”

I wiped the sweat away from my forehead. No, I whispered back. This will be worth it. This will be worth it.

Finally, I heard voices. Real ones. Not like the crazy dialogue going on in my head.

I heard the car door open, and my friend Marianna ask, “What’s in there?”

“Open it,” Laura said.

Suddenly the cardboard parted and I could breathe again. I stuck my hand out and grabbed Marianna’s arm.

“AHHH! IT’S A PERSON!” she screamed. “AHHH! It’s B.J!”

I crawled out of the box and Marianna collapsed in my arms.

We had succeeded. The surprised look on our friend’s face was totally worth it. She hadn’t seen me in almost a year, and my visit was a complete shock.

I questioned my sanity later again that day, when I thought about the whole experience. And then I realized — how many times do I question God’s sanity?

No one likes to be put in a box. But sometimes life throws us into dark places. Parents split up. Friends turn against us. Loved ones die.

I know what that’s like. I was ten years old when I woke up with an infection that eventually affected my brain and my heart. I cried out to God, begging him to heal me. When my throat was too dry to pray anymore, I gave up. I had no tears left to cry. I felt empty, alone, and afraid.

But something pulled me through those dark times. It was these words, whispering through the pain. It was the Spirit of God, saying, it will be worth it. It will be worth it.

I clung to those words on dark nights, when all of heaven seemed silent. I clung to those words on dark days when I felt I couldn’t go on.

Then — Jesus touched my body. After 11 years of pain, He made me whole.

Strangely, I was devastated. What about the years I was sick? Were they wasted? Were they completely gone?

Then one day, Jesus met me. He showed me that it wasn’t all about me. That He had a bigger purpose and plan for my life.

That purpose and plan is you.

All the time I talk with teens who are ready to give up. All the time I talk with teens who think the darkness will never go away. All the time I talk with teens who listen to sanity whisper, “You don’t have to do this. You can bust out of this joint.”

I don’t know you, but I know your dark place. I’ve been there.

But I believe if you will have ears to listen, you will hear Jesus whispering to you.

It will be worth it, He says. It will be worth it.

And if you trust Him — it will.