I sat with a group of teens and we talked about the issue of violence.

QUESTION: A lot of adults are concerned about violence. If you could tell them what the real issues of violence was about, what would you say?

Tony: If I see a violent movie, it doesn’t make me want to kill someone. I’m used to watching these movies. But for me, we don’t seem to talk about what really matters. Like, if I ever thought about suicide, I wish that I could have that conversation with my family. Because if you are feeling that way, you want to talk about what’s really going on, you know, underneath.

Rachel: I need a safe place to go. I need to feel accepted. If you don’t, then you feel like hurting yourself.

After talking for about a half-hour they confirmed what I believed all along. The issue of violence isn’t as much about the pretend world, as it is about real-life issues like:

self-injury
depression
suicide

In the past few years I’ve stood, stunned, as I’ve read the names of teens in my hometown newspaper who committed suicide. These teens had faces and names. I remembered watching them play basketball or even hanging out my house.

As I travel around the country, I’ve talked with more and more teens who have tried cutting and found themselves trapped in a cycle of cutting/feel better/regret and shame/cutting.

One thing that I’ve learned is that God isn’t afraid of the tough stuff. While we might see the self-injury, he sees the hurt beneath the action.

While we might see someone who is suicidal, God sees someone like my friend, Darrin, who can find hope and healing when he least expects it. Or my friend, Brooke, who once self-injured and found a safe place to express her feelings.

Darrin’s Story – No Way Out – (excerpted from Real Teens, Real Stories, Real Life by T. Suzanne Eller) and shared on Sloppynoodle.com.

Brooke’s Story – Butterfly Man — Brooke’s story of finding hope from self-injury – (excerpted from Real Teens, Real Stories, Real Life) and shared on onecubed.com

Self-injury.org — Helps and practical information from a former self-injurer

~Real Advice~

Dear Real Teen Faith, I don’t know how to say this to anyone. I want to die, but I am afraid of death and I want to get help, but I don’t know where to turn.

From Suzie: You didn’t leave a way for us to respond to you personally, so I pray that you see this here.

I have a friend who once struggled with depression and wanted to die. Everything looked so bleak then that he could never imagine that things would change, but they did. Life got better, way better, but the first thing he had to do was to be real about he felt. You did that with us today. Thank you.

It’s so important that you tell someone you trust who is an adult. Your parents would be the first suggestion. It’s important to talk to someone who can help, who knows the right things to say and do.

If the first person doesn’t listen, go to someone who will that is an adult and someone that you trust, like a youth sponsor, school counselor, Sunday school teacher. If they don’t listen as they should, let them know that you are serious, that you’re really struggling and need help to make it through this tough time.

Another resource is a suicide crisis hotline. Here are three different numbers.

Suicide Helpline – 1-800-SUICIDE
Suicide Prevention Hotline – 1-800-827-7571
National Suicide Hotline – 1-888-248-2587

The last and most important thing that I hope you understand is that your life is of value to God. I know for certain that God loves you, and that your struggle is important to him. May we pray for you?

Father, I pray for this beautiful daughter of yours. I pray that she sense how much you love her. I pray that you help her see beyond today, that beyond the feelings or problems, there is life. Thank you that you have mapped out destiny for each and every one of us. Wrap yourself around our new friend today and give her hope for tomorrow. Lead her to people who will help her, and who will be a friend to her through this tough time. Thank you for hope that comes through you.

In your powerful name, Amen