March 8, 2008
Picture Perfect?
by Lydia Rule, RTF Staff writer
Situation Three: Lauren and Ryan are both saved and have been dating each other for a year. They seem like the perfect couple. They have both promised their parents that they will save sex for marriage. However, the temptation is there—especially when Ryan takes her out for a drive in his car or when Lauren spends the afternoon at Ryan’s house.
They snuggle, kiss, and hold hands, after all, what couple doesn’t? As time goes by, they have done everything BUT the big no-no, and technically, they’re still virgins. Yet, they feel guilty for pushing their relationship to the limits.
Scripture: Now about the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to live a celibate life. 1 Corinthians 7:1
Questions to Think About
1) The Bible says it is “good” for a man not to touch a woman (or vice versa). If Ryan and Lauren had applied this verse to their relationship and focused more on God instead of each other’s body, would their relationship be stronger?
2) If Ryan and Lauren had gone all the way, could they be forgiven (the answer is found in John 8:1-11 where Jesus talks to the woman caught in adultery)?
3) The Bible says, “to everything there is a season… a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” Ecclesiastes 3:1-8. What could this mean in a dating relationship? Is there a time to refrain from sexual
acts? When is the right time to have sex (Hint: the answer involves an “I do”) ?
Simple Ways to Eliminate Temptations while Dating
- Before you date, set up a list of guidelines and back them up with scripture.
- Make a character list of qualities you want in a future spouse.
- Ask your youth pastor, parents, and friends to hold you accountable to those guidelines.
- Limit your “alone” time. Don’t rush your relationship. Go on double dates or outings with Christian friends. It’s easier to fight temptation when there are other people around.
- Love is blind, but as Christians, we are to see things the way God does. Look past outward appearances… Try to find out what he/she is really like. Do you share the same interests? Is he/she someone you would want to spend the rest of your life with?
- Be careful what you say and think. Don’t share personal, intimate details just yet. Save your heart for marriage. Pray and keep your focus on God.
- Dress modestly on dates— if your attire is modest, you will have less temptation and gain his/her respect.
Bio: Lydia Rule is an award-winning writer who has been published in several international magazines. She is currently working on her fifth novel and other various writing projects.
Deb says:
This is really good, Lydia.