December 2, 2007
I used to have a strong faith in God, but junior year has messed me up, I don’t feel close to him anymore, my grades have been falling. I have suffered from depression and Ii always feel doubtful. I don’t know what to do about falling into the wrong relationships with guys who don’t have the same religious faith as me, but I really need some advice from someone who has more faith than I do… Emi
Hi Emi,
It’s evident that you love God because you care so much about what you believe you are losing, or believe you have lost. I think it is awesome that you know to ask for help when you are discouraged. How strong of you!
I read a really cool book one time by an author named C. S. Lewis called The Screwtape Letters. In it, it shows how that Satan tries to trip up a believer. He enlists several “helpers” and assigns them to discourage, distract, and create despair for this man who truly loves God.
The cool thing about this book is that it is an analogy, but it holds so much truth.
Let’s look at some Scripture (truth) that is written for you and for me.
If you are discouraged:
In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God’s will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:26-28)
Emi, when you feel weak you can turn to God. Some people turn away from him because they feel ashamed, or they feel they don’t measure up. But that trips us up. God knows that you are struggling, or have doubts, or feel depressed, and that’s exactly the time to turn to Him. Because He cares about you. He loves you. He has a plan for your life, not just in the future, but now. Begin to talk to Him about how you feel. Invite Him in right where you are.
Sometimes we turn to other people to find what we need: love, friendship, affirmation or encouragement, connection. But many times people turn to the wrong people or at the wrong time, and definitely for the wrong reason, and then feel burned when they are left empty.
God doesn’t leave us empty. He fills us up. The more that we know Him, the more we learn about ourselves. The more that we know Him, the more we understand his mercy, his grace, his joy, his love, his purpose. It’s a process, and it’s a journey.
If you are distracted:
You’ve all been to the stadium and seen the athletes race. Everyone runs; one wins. Run to win. All good athletes train hard. They do it for a gold medal that tarnishes and fades. You’re after one that’s gold eternally. I don’t know about you, but I’m running hard for the finish line. I’m giving it everything I’ve got. No sloppy living for me! I’m staying alert and in top condition. I’m not going to get caught napping, telling everyone else all about it and then missing out myself. (1 Corinthians 9:24-27)
Take a minute and look at what is distracting you. I want to know God. That is my one prize I’m running after.
But what gets in the way. What are the landmines that throw you off track, blow you up and leave you in pieces, or leave you feeling lost? Most of the time those things are shiny, attractive, addicting, or they temporarily give you a thrill in some way, but are they the real prize? Take off the shiny wrapper and see them for what they really are.
If someone comes into your life and says all the right words, but what he is asking throws you off course, then don’t let that person or the temporary feelings throw you off the track.
I talked to several girls in a local high school recently. They are in an alternative school, and most of them are young mommas. I’m blown away by the fact that they have a child, or even two or three, at the age of 14 and 15, and yet a few of them still are looking for a guy to make them feel wanted or special.
I asked them share their dreams. Some didn’t have a dream, but those that did told me about their hopes.
“If someone comes to you with promises of love, but asks you to give them something that can delay those dreams, then take a big eraser and say goodbye, because they can cause you to write a chapter in your life that has nothing to do with real long-lasting love,” was my advice.
It still is. You said that you get distracted by guys who don’t have the same beliefs as you. Faith is more than just the church you attend. It’s a life-changing belief system that impacts you and the direction of your life. Maybe what you are searching for, Emi, is found in that type of love, rather than some guy. You know? Talk to God honestly about that. Invite a trusted adult to pray with you, and to help you be accountable in this area until you are strong enough to do it on your own (with God, of course).
If you feel in despair:
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us–who was raised to life for us!-is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us.
Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture.
I’m absolutely convinced that nothing–nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable–absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us. (Romans 8:32-35, 38-39 The Message)
That’s how much Jesus loves you today, Emi. That’s hope that you can count on. I will pray for you today, okay? Please come back anytime. Let RTF know if you need prayer, or if you have other questions about the Christian faith.
I believe in you,
Suzie Eller, RTF
Lydia Rule says:
Hey Emi,
Sometimes life can get so crazy that your head feels like it is ready to explode from all the pressure.
Trust me. I’ve been there during these past few weeks.
But God uses a “still small voice” to carry us through the difficult times. Whether you are struggling with faith or other issues, it helps to remember that we have to ignore everything else and trust that God has a plan even when we don’t see one.
The funny thing is, God uses our hardships to make our faith STRONG. When everything is going perfectly, we don’t need to lean on God as much. It’s in the hardships that our faith is tested and made stronger.
Praying for you!
Lydia
Debbie says:
As a writer, Emi, I talk to people nobody else can see. These people live in my head. I dream about them…eat with them…sing with them…they are on my mind most of the time.
And one time, I asked one of my characters how she was able to endure a difficult time with so much faith. She told me that sometimes the storms in our lives don’t come to make us strong, but to draw us near to the One who is strong.
Maybe God’s using these events in your life to draw you close to Him…
Praying for you!
Debbie
diamond_1190@yahoo.com
Cindi Hoppes says:
Life can be hard, but I do believe that what doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger! Also, talking to a person that one trusts ( parent, pastor, teacher, counselor, etc. ) can be a major aid with depression. I know because I suffer with bouts of depression and anxiety. I will send positive thoughts and prayers your way…..Take care,Cindi