July 8, 2007
My dad is bad on drugs and I love him so much but I don’t know what to do, I pray and pray for him but it seems like he keeps getting worse I don’t want to give up on him because God wouldn’t want me to but it seems like there’s nothing I can do? - Shawntaine
RTF Response: Hello Shawntaine. I know that this is a difficult place to be. You love your dad. You hate the drugs. The first thing I want you to know is that you are a beautiful daughter, not just to your dad, but to your Heavenly Father.
He cares very much about what your dad–and your family–is going through.
The second thing that I want you to know is that you are not responsible for your dad’s healing or addiction. It’s not how many prayers you offer up, or how much you do or try to protect your dad. There comes a time when you have to give them to God completely.
Sometimes that takes an addict or alcoholic to a place that is very hard. You see, when you love someone you don’t want them to face any hurt whatsoever. But when you realize that you can’t fix them, and you stop enabling or trying to keep them from harm, then the addict must clearly look at where addiction has placed him or her.
It’s not that God gives up on them. He has a plan for that person’s life, but the addiction and the consequences of that physically and in life are no longer hidden. That’s both a hard place and a beautiful place, and that’s where many people turn for help.
So, keep praying, but know that God loves your dad even more than you.
I hope that you will seek some additional help — someone with skin on — through Alateen. It’s a group that is completely made up of adults and teens who have walked in your shoes. Go to Alateen and check out their website, their Q&A sections, and see if they have a meeting in your area. This is very important. They will give you coping skills that will help you in every part of your life, as well as help you know what to do with and for your dad.
Shawntaine, you sound like an amazing, caring girl. Your dad is very lucky to have such a loving daughter.
Debbie says:
I’ll pray for you, Shawntaine!
your friend,
Debbie