July 6, 2007
I am going on 16, and made a regrettable choice to give myself to my boyfriend two years ago. Although this is something I cannot take back, I have talked with my youth pastor about regaining my spiritual purity through Jesus. But I’ve never told my parents about this. I know that I never got any STD’s and I didn’t get pregnant, but it’s really hurtful to me having to lie to my mother nearly everyday.
We talk about sex openly and I have no difficulty lying about it. I told her recently that I was going to wait until marriage. In my heart, I feel that I will be waiting for marriage. But I know that if I tell her that our relationship will never be the same. I don’t think she could ever forgive me. Am I a terrible person to keep deceiving her, even though it’s better for both of us? - Alie
Hey Alie,
You need to come clean with your mom. It sounds like you have a good relationship, but honesty is a key ingredient in loving someone.
Will it be easy? No. Will it hurt your mom? Yeah, maybe, because she loves you. Will you have to earn her trust again in this area. Yeah.
But this is the deal. God has forgiven you. You’ve learned from your mistake. You’ve made better choices since then. But lying is hard on you too, and it’s a shaky foundation to build on when you’re trying to live a whole new way.
You don’t have to tell the whole world your mistake. You’ve presented it to Christ, and that’s where you and me and every person reading this finds forgiveness for our sins. But do tell your mom and stop being untruthful with her today.
Don’t spring it on her. Ask your mom for some one-on-one time. Tell her the story. Invite your mom to be your prayer partner. Share with her the things you have learned, and what you do differently now, than in the past. Let her know that you’ve struggled with lying to her, and that you want to always be honest.
Do I know what her reaction will be? I don’t, and there’s never a guarantee that if you live with integrity that it’s always going to be easy or that people will respond the way you hope, but that’s not why we do it. I’m proud of you for wanting to be a woman of faith and integrity. That’s awesome.
Jade/Debbie says:
I admire your courage to even think of telling your mom, Alie.
And I’m glad that you took your experience and you learned from it. That’s SO IMPORTANT in the Christian walk. 
I’ll pray for you, ok?
your friend,
Debbie