June 28, 2007
Hi, I read your article. I self injure myself probably every month or two, but lately I have been doing it more and more. I am a Christian, and I go to church.
One of my best friends saw my arm this week and freaked out, now she isn’t talking to me. She is a member of my church. She is the one I usually go to for help. My family is never around, and I am afraid what they may do. I cut/scratch myself to calm myself in times of panic. I don’t know what to do. I’ve prayed. but I am losing hope in myself, but that makes me do the habit more.
I would go to someone of my church, but I try so hard to be accepted there, I don’t know what others would think of me. I don’t know what to do. -Lindsay
Hi Lindsay,
I’m glad that article in Today’s Christian Woman was helpful.
Let’s get some things out of the way first. You are accepted and loved by Christ. You are seen as his girl, his child, and he loves you very much. Sometimes people freak out, like your friend, because they don’t understand what self-injury is about.
Cutting is less about the injury, than it is what you are trying to tell the world. “I’m hurting and I don’t have a safe place to talk about the way I feel.” In a sense, your skin has become a billboard for what you feel on the inside.
But there’s a second part of this and that is cutting releases chemicals in your body and temporarily you feel better, but only temporarily. Then you crash, and you feel stuck because cutting brings feelings like shame and also physical pain, so now you feel bad, so you cut again.
It’s a cycle, and it’s one that many girls and guys find themselves in. You hide it, you don’t tell anyone, you keep cutting.
You do need to tell someone that you trust. Print out the article and give it to your youth pastor or trusted adult first and also to your friend, so they can read about how to help you overcome this, with prayer, with counsel, with better and healthful ways to express your feelings. That might mean seeking some extra help, but combine that with prayer because God knows you, loves you, and can help you heal.
Also, you need to understand that others have battled this, and found hope and healing! There is a great site for Christian teens written by a young woman who overcame self-injury. It’s written in a realistic, and yet powerful and scriptural perspective. It has tons of information, and it’s from someone who has walked in your shoes, which is important.
This is a beginning, Lindsay. Stay in touch, okay? We’ll continue to pray with you. May I pray with you today?
Father, I stand with my friend Lindsey and I ask that you help her begin a new journey of healing today. I thank you that she loves you, and I pray that today she begins to understand fully your love and acceptance for her right where she is. Your scripture says that nothing can separate us from your love. People may freak out, but you love us and help us find our way to wholeness and purpose and destiny. Thank you that she is your girl, and thank you for leading her to the right person that will pray with her and believe with her as she begins to open up and share her hurt with you, and with others. Thank you for what “will be” in her life today, and tomorrow because of your healing touch. Amen.
Lydia Rule says:
Hey Lindsay,
There’s probably something going on in your life that is making you want to cut yourself– it could be family stress, relationships, only you know why you feel that you have to cut yourself.
Definitely go talk to your youth pastor or pastor– they can help you. Just go to your pastor and say, “I really need to talk to you about something.”
My dad is a preacher, so I can vouch for the fact that preachers don’t bite! Honest, it’s really not scary to talk to the preacher about your problems. That’s what they are there for.
Praying for you!
-Lydia Rule
Lydia says:
Hey again!
I was thinking… maybe it would help to replace cutting with another activity. Do you like to write? Sing? Play an instrument? Or maybe even play a sport for fun?
I actually belong to a Christian Writing group, if you want, you can check the group’s website out: http://www.freewebs.com/aroundthebloc/index.htm
Everyone has a talent within them, find out what your talent is and then when you feel angry or saddened by what’s happening in your life, you can tune out and play music, or write a story instead of cutting yourself.
I find that when I am angry or upset, that writing takes me away from the pain for awhile. I can lose myself in one of my stories just by letting my imagination take me to far away lands filled with dragons, elves, and other creatures. Music is another great way to let yourself go.
Don’t forget that prayer is the greatest way to heal from your problems. Talk to God, ask for wisdom in the situation that you are in. Also, talk to Christian friends, pastors, etc.
Again, I’m praying for you! Don’t lose heart!
You’re never alone when you have Jesus in your life!
-Lydia
Jade/Debbie says:
You’re not alone, Lindsay. God is with you. Hebrews 13:5, “for He (God) hath said, I will never leave thee nor forsake thee.”
What helped me, at a time, when I was in need of healing was to read through the New Testament (particularly Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), looking for examples of God’s healing power.
If that sounds too difficult, I can give you a list of Bible passages talking about healing. (dimaond_1190@yahoo.com)
God loves Y-O-U!
Your Sister in Christ,
Jade/Debbie
loc's 831 says:
it’s really stupid of you to cut!!!!
who would be so idiot to do that!!!!!
but anyways don’t feel left out look 4 help and you’ll find it!!!!!
brittany says:
I cut or self injure to I am a Christian and go to church as well i do this because i am not accepted anywhere i go, at school i get made fun of and i do turn to God sometimes but not normally. so your not alone, i feel your pain
T. Suzanne Eller says:
Hey Brittany, It is hard when you feel that people do not accept you, and the reality is that there are many people who have no clue how their actions affect others. But I hope you grasp this: you are accepted and loved by Christ. It’s not just found in scripture, but in the lives of many teens and adults who took a risk to love him, and to be loved back. I think it is awesome that you turn to God sometimes, and I hope that you will trust him more and more. Please keep coming back to RTF. We’d love to get to know you better.
Suzie Eller, RTF founder
T. Suzanne Eller says:
Locs 831,
It’s hard to understand why people self-injure, especially if you love a friend or family member who is doing it, but one element of self-injury is the shame. You do it, and temporarily feel better, but then realize what you’ve done and the feeling is gone, only to feel trapped in the same cycle. I hope you will consider praying for and believing in someone who is seeking answers, okay? Compassion and prayer are powerful. : )
Amber says:
hey you know i usedt to cut and i learned that you just need to distract yourself