June 26, 2007
A Letter From God
by Elizabeth Wright, Guest RTF Writer
When I got my first job, I thought I was just going to work at a daycare. I was
wrong: I was entering a mission field. I became overwhelmed with the need I saw all around me. “I can help them,” I thought. “I can make it better.”
Determined to make a difference, I plunged in headfirst. I prayed for them, passed out invitations to church, and offered my help whenever I could. Sheer enthusiasm carried me through the first couple months.
However, I began to notice no one was responding. No one came to church. No one asked me to baby-sit. Many of the “bad” kids were still bad. There was one little girl in particular that baffled me. I’ll call her Tara. She was a beautiful, smart little girl. She brightened my day several times when she would run to me, calling my name, and throw her arms around me. There were times when she was the sweetest, most loving little girl in the class. She mothered the younger ones, leading them around by the hand, and rushed them to me if they got hurt.
Sadly, this was not the case all the time. On other days, she hit, kicked, and bit her friends. With her teachers, she didn’t listen, ran away when corrected, lashed out in time-out, and even threw rocks at them. The final straw came when she ran away twice in one day, once taking off across the parking lot, and another, running up the stairs in the gym as we came back from lunch. It was simply too dangerous for both her and us, and we had to expel her.
I had been sagging, and this was the final blow. I was so upset that I ate little, slept fitfully, and felt as if I would cry most of the time. My pastor asked me one day why I wasn’t smiling as often as I used to. I told him I was just sad about some things at work. The fact was that I was not accustomed to failure. I had tried so hard with Tara, and for a while, it had looked like I might succeed.
Her mother was no help. We had been getting along well, and I had hoped to befriend her. But the day she got the letter saying Tara was expelled, she grew distant. I had been teaching the class that day, and feared she blamed me. Those fears were confirmed one day about a week later. When she arrived, Tara was in time-out.
Her mother indicated the report in her hand. “Her note says she had a good day.”
“Yes, she did. We’ve just had a rough afternoon.” I assured her.
“Well, I’ve noticed she does better with some teachers than with others.” I could tell by her voice that she meant it exactly the way it sounded. She blamed me, and although I knew it wasn’t my fault, it hurt.
I cried on more than one occasion. I couldn’t do anything right. Why wasn’t God blessing me?
I struggled to stay afloat spiritually, clinging to the promise in Galatians 6:9: “And be not weary in well doing; for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” There were nights when I lay awake, crying, asking God, “I’m trying so hard not to faint; when do I get to reap?”
As her last day approached, I thought hard. How could I reach out to both Tara and her mother? How could I let her mother know that I loved her child? I had been so burdened for this family; I couldn’t bring myself to let them go without giving one last effort. I finally settled for buying a small gift and penning a note to her mother. I let her know how much I loved Tara and that I would be praying for them as they went to their new school. I doubted it would help, but figured it wouldn’t hurt.
Even without reading the note, her mother was kind to me that day. Much of the burden lifted, but in the corner of my mind, Tara was always there. I wondered about her all the time. Was she doing well in her new school? Did her mother still harbor resentment towards me? Were they attending church? I still felt like I had failed.
About a month after Tara left, I was surprised to receive an e-mail from her mother. The message carried no trace of her former indifferent attitude. She informed me that although the adjustment had been hard, Tara was doing well in her new school. She brought up the note. She made no mention of church, but spoke kindly to me. The lines were open once again. I nearly cried again.
God had answered my prayers. If she was willing to e-mail me occasionally, we could stay in contact. I printed out that message and carried it around for weeks. To me, it was a letter from God Himself, whispering not to give up. I went to work that day with new determination and assurance that God was faithful.
My life is not perfect now. I still have children I worry about, and I still grow impatient when things do not go my way. But I look at that letter, and I remind myself that God is still working, even when I don’t see it.
BIO: Elizabeth Wright is taking the Apprentice course from the Christian Writers Guild. She works in a daycare, is active in her church, and enjoys her five little brothers and two dogs.
© 2007 by Elizabeth A. Wright. All rights reserved.
Jade/Debbie says:
“…God is still working, even when I don’t see it.”
AMEN!
You will probably never know all the kids’ and families that you have touched by just being there, shining Christ’s love.
your friend,
Jade/Debbie
Lydia Rule says:
Way to go Elizabeth!
-Lydia
Yvonne Blake says:
Good writing! It came from your heart, that’s what makes it great! You are making a difference, even though you don’t see immediate results.
Jude 22
Rachel says:
Elizabeth, that was very well-written. Children are an excellent way to minister to people…not just to them but to their parents as well. You have been given a great opportunity to do this in your job, and I applaud your efforts. I know that God is looking out for you and your family and for every one of the children in your care. But while it is a great opportunity, it is also a big challenge. Even though it is difficult in some situations to be a shining light to Him, we dont have to worry about “did I do this right” or “am I doing good”…we just have to obey. If we obey God and do what He tells us to do, He promised us that His word would not return void. He will open doors that you never thought could be open and you WILL reap the blessings of obedience to Him. Thank you for sharing your heart with us all.
Rachel says:
Ok, I meant to say “it is difficult in some situations to be a shining light FOR him”…not to him.
SOrry!
Danielle Greer says:
This was excellent. Elizabeth Wright does an excellent job of getting across real life issues and giving them a spiritual application.
Catherine Johns says:
That was a fabulous story! I too use to work at a daycare and completely understand how you can get so attached to the ones that others would rather get rid of. Those are the ones that new God the most. I think your story is a great encouragement. It almost made me cry but I’m at work on my luch break so i can’t do that hear.
It’s always a wonderful thing when God gives you that little bit of hope that you keep searching and hoping for!! Keep on trucking sister!! 