June 17, 2007
I just turned 15.
Everything thing seems to be going wrong. I thought that as I got older life would be cooler. My mom recently lost her job and then got a new one. Instead of working for like four hours, she works for ten. I know that every parent probably works like this but I’m so used to her having a part-time job. Now it feels like I have to be responsible for the safety of my little sisters and the house.
My grandfather (who I was very close to) just passed away and I haven’t experienced any deaths. Everyone around me is also getting involved with drugs and drinking. It’s hard to see some of my best friends in elementry school and middle school just throw away their lives.
High school is not what I expected it to be like. Am I going crazy or is this how things are suppose to happen
RTF Response: I’m so sorry that you are facing such a difficult time. Sometimes when life is tough, it seems like everything hits at once. It’s awesome that you loved your grandfather so much. Missing him is a natural response. Over time, sis, your memories of the good times with him will replace the grief that you feel right now.
As I read your e-mail, it seems that you are sad because just when your friends are making bad choices and high school isn’t what you hoped, the adults in your life aren’t around.
I hope that you will make a date with your mom to talk. Though she’s busy with her new job, chances are she will want to hear what you have to say. Think about what you want to talk about before you sit down with her. Is it really about the house and the kids? Or is that you feel overwhelmed or confused and you just need your mom to listen, and encourage you?
Share how you feel.
I want you to know that you are one awesome girl. How cool that you are there for your sisters. How awesome that you are making right choices when all your friends are not. How amazing is it that you are so tuned in to family, that you miss your grandfather because you loved him so much!
Will you do this today? Leave a note for your mom that says, “I need to talk to you when you have time. Can we make a date, just you and me?”.
Second, I want you to know that we will pray for you today, and for your friends. I am praying that God will bring a new friend to you–someone strong in her faith, and loyal as a friend. And that you will also feel God walk with you. He’s the best kind of friend that we can have.
You are amazing!
Jade says:
Life WILL get better…it might just take a little while. Truth is, just becoming a freshman gives you a whole lot of new and exciting and scary emotions to deal with, if you add to that your mom losing her job and your grandfather’s death, well, that’s a lot to deal with all at once.
When I was going through a difficult time, one thing that DEFINITELY helped me was writing letters to God. I was never very comfortable praying out loud or even to myself. But I loved to write. So I started writing letters and notes to God.
At first, I felt kinda geeky for doing it.
But it turned out to be one of the best things I ever did. It strengthed my relationship with God, it helped me to reach a point where I’m comfortable talking to God about anything.
I believe God hears everything–our thoughts, prayers, and even the letters we write to Him.
Tell God about your grief, about your pain, about everything…He IS listening.
your friend,
Jade