April 10, 2007
~Real Advice~I am a fifteen-year-old at a small school. In the past three days I have had two friends try to commit suicide and one of them was like my best friend. The other one not only hurt herself, but beat and attempted to stab her mom and sister. she slit her arm all up to mid-forearm, and is now at a Mental Institute. I need help. WHAT DO I DO?
Katrina
RT Response:
Hey Katrina,
It’s really important that you understand what you can and cannot do.
You can’t fix anyone but yourself. You can’t control the circumstances. You can’t make all their problems go away. If they are making destructive decisions, you can’t try to be a superhero and put yourself in harm’s way.
But you can be a friend (be kind, be supportive, and encouraging). You can believe in them as you pray for them and the adults in their lives who are trying to help. You can direct them to adults that you know who are compassionate and qualified to help. Perhaps your youth pastor or pastor would know of free counseling in your area.
There are internet resources. One is Teenline, a live counseling (free) ministry. This is the blurb from their website:
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Teenline counselors are available on the chat room Monday through Friday between the hours of 5 and 9 PM. Or you may speak with a Teenline counselor on the telephone during these same hours by calling (714) NEW-TEEN or (714) 639-8336. This is sponsored by a church called the Crystal Cathedral.
As you pray, I hope you understand that God loves your friends even more than you do. It’s not his will that they hurt emotionally, or that they hurt others. In your alone time with God, ask God to give them wisdom, healing, and joy. And remember, with God’s help, any situation can turn around.
May I share a story with you?
In the Bible there was a man who was alone, shackled, hurting in his heart and head. He lived in a cemetary and people were afraid of his actions because he was so distraught that he frightened them.
Jesus passed by and the man ran out of the cemetary asking for help. Christ healed him. He impacted this man’s heart and hurt so profoundly that people didn’t even recognize him.
When everybody else had given up on this man, Christ didn’t.
He loves your friends too. This is bigger than you, Katrina, so as a friend you will not only connect them with caring adults, but take this problem to a much higher place — to Jesus. Talk to him about your friend. Believe in her, as you pray for her, even when she is struggling to believe in herself.
~Prayer~
May we pray for your friends today?
Father, we ask that you help these friends. They are hurting and don’t know how to find help. You said that you see every hair on our heads, which means that you see these situations and they grieve you just as much. We pray that you give the adults in these situations wisdom. Show them what to do. We pray for peace and joy that comes through knowing you to be in the hearts of these friends.
Thank you for Katrina. Give her peace as well. Let her find joy and comfort as she hangs out with you, sharing her heart and hopes for her friends. Thank you that she cares.
Pastor Eric says:
Suzie Eller how in the world are you??? Eric Smith here. I happened on to you blogspot and wanted to tell you that we think you are awesome and miss you and Rick’s friendship! Hope all is well. Still remember the days of playing cards every night when we lived next door?? Blessings!
Jade says:
I’ll pray for Katrina and her friends.
Your Sister in Christ,
Jade
anonymous says:
i feel the same way.its like there is no way of getting out of the hurt that you are feeling.it is good to know you have god to turn to.
Christine Lamothe says:
That’s hard I’m not going to say it’s easy you can look at it as a learning experience. Being a teen is hard as well and you and your friends are going threw so many changes right now. The only thing you can do is keep your head up and move forward with yourself, you have no control over what your friends do in most cases, you can speak your mind doesn’t always mean they’ll listen. In three yrs from now you WILL look back and realize this was a phase or just some heartache you had to go through to get where you are. Believe me I’m 23 and I too was in 2 psych wards for suicide attempts and shipped half way across the world to some boarding program to straighten me out…I can tell you it didn’t work, what did work was me and learning that I had to make the CHOICE. I look back now and know whatever the cause, I was going through something, I look down now at my 2 1/2yr old daughter and am now prepared for whatever she throws my way. It’s hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel just have faith because it is there. I hope the best let me know if you need anything, I’ll be here.