April 2, 2007
~Real Advice~
I don’t exactly no where to begin or even if this is gonna make a whole lot of sense. My family was involved in a string of legalistic churches. When I was 13, my mom got us out the churches. Which I’m a lot happier, now that we’re out of those churches. So, I haven’t been to church in nearly 3 years.
In the meantime, I’ve dealt with anger, frustration, etc. about our situation and I think I’ve made peace with it. (My family is hoping to start going back to church soon.)
I’m trying really hard to have a relationship with God. But I don’t feel Him. In fact, I go through these periods (2-3 times a week) when I feel an intense loneliness. I can be at the mall surronded by tons of people, I can be at home in my room by myself. I think I’m longing for God, but I don’t know how to get closer to Him. I want to feel His love, acceptance, etc.
But I wonder if perhaps I’m waiting for the other shoe to fall. After everything happened and we left our last church, I lost several close friends. I’ve quit believing there are good churches/pastors out there.
Is it possible that I’m just constantly waiting for Him to fail me? Or is this natural? Either way, how do I grow closer to God??
Your Sister in Christ,
Jade
Suzie’s Response: What an honest question. There are thousands of amazing churches and pastors and people. There are also people that make faith very complicated and burdensome.
Did you know that this was a problem even in the Bible?
Jesus talked about it in Matthew 11:28-30. This is what he said:
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me–watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”
Jade, I think that is the invitation that you are feeling. “Come walk with me. Let me show you how to do it.” Maybe that’s what you long for, but aren’t even sure it exists.
I’ve been walking with Christ for 30 years now. It’s not always easy, because walking into destiny very rarely is, but it’s been amazing. It’s been freeing. Knowing God on a personal level is very different than just hanging in a pew. I love my church, but it’s not enough for me. I want to know God.
Where do you begin? Receive what he’s offering in the verses above. Come to him. Start over and follow Christ. Will you meet imperfect people along the way? Absolutely. I’m one! But you’ll learn to focus on you and God, rather than on what people say your faith should be.
You sound like an amazing person.
Cowboy says:
Hey, I saw your comment on Impressive Pizza and had to add you to my favorites. Expect comments from me.
I am 21 years old, active duty military. I write occasionally just to let steam off, I will warn you I dont always have the nicest things to say about stuff so you have to take me with a grain of salt and take me just as I am, like Jesus does. I am a Christ follower, I go to church occasionally but the rodeo arena is my church, thats where I feel God the most, on my way to a rodeo and back from it. I have been kicked out of a youth group when I was younger and wasnt really accepted all that much at that church. So I’m not your clean cut no smoking, no drinking, no dancing kind of guy. But I do love to tell how Jesus has freed me to really live. I am looking forward to reading your writings.
Curt
forgotten one says:
Hello Suz.
Just dropping in to say hi, even though I am not a teen anymore. Talk to you later.
Sarah
Grace says:
Hey I don’t know how old/new this comment is. I came across this over the internet google-ing.
One big thing that I really want to say from my experience is this: The church can be as legalistic as they want, but that is between them and God. What is needed is that YOU and God doesn’t become legalistic. I go to church all the time. But I have also come across churches that arent authentic. There are no perfect church. To me, church is a secondary support that I have to refill my spiritual strength. I say secondary because primarily it’s you and God.
What I am saying is that YOU have the power to determine whether or not to make the service legalistic. You are one of the participants. Even this post that I am posting - How authentic am I with my God right now in my heart? Change starts inward. And you can make a difference.
When being surrounded by legalistic rituals, one of the greatest challenge, as i always say, is to “be a flame in the midst of dim lights”. But when you are able to do that, your love with God is unbreakable. It may have its down times, as so many experience, but ultimately, it won’t quench.
One last quote from me to you my sister - and I hope this comment helps you - “It is not obeying God that makes us love him, it is loving him that makes us obey him.It is not loving him that makes us love him, it is understanding his love that makes us love him. ” Don’t give up - your relationship with Christ is between you and God, but without support such as church, no matter how legalistic it is - it’s still truth and YOU have the power to make it not legalistic to yourself by being authentic to God and to people. Break it. God bless.
God’s grace be with you as you seek Him.
Dear Lord Jesus, I pray that you will help my sister here to break legalism and be the light that shines forth that breaks in righteousness. I pray in Jesus name that you will rekindle the fire that was once so strongly in her, that you will grant her the wisdom and grace to be authentic and understanding. I pray that you love will drive her far- far beyond what she can imagine and grant her a desiring and discerning steadfast spirit.
In Jesus name, Amen.
Love, sis in Christ, Grace
Andrew G. says:
Hey Jade! I kno this article is from april and its june right now but i hope it isn’t too late to comment. I have been going to the same church for almost all my life and my family and i really like it! Although i’ve had this great church, i still felt exactly the same as u! I didn’t really feel God and i thought i waz alone too. and kinda around the begining of this year i started really thinking about religion and whether God existed or not. But i believe that all of that lead up to the point in which i accepted Christ! around februrary i think is when my youthgroup and a neighbooring youth group went to a retreat and that waz when it happened! The things that really helps me to feel God and learn more about him is 1. read the bible (i kno that’s wat everyone says but it does help. as a suggestion start w/ the gospels) 2. find a totally awesome youthgroup w/ nice freinds. Youthgroups are important because it helps to kno others r in the same position as u are. 3. listen to christian music. i think music really does alot because music can change ur mood pretty easily. So if its worship music, it kinda puts u in a “i wanna get close to God” kinda mood. Oh, and if ur youthgroup has a worship band that’s even better. Well, i hope this helps u. “knock, and the door will be opened for you”.