February 6, 2007
Real Dilemma:
I am a teenaged girl and I wanted to get some advice.
The problem is that I am extremely shy and I just moved to a new country (from India to US). Everything is difficult for me. The language is not, but everything else is. It has been 8 months since I came here and 5 months since I started going to school.
Believe it or not, I don’t have a single friend. The only people who talk to me are a girl and a boy. But that is just formal talk. If I have a problem with my studies or I just want to share my feelings, I have absolutely no one.
Each day is intolerable. The only satsfaction is that I am doing well at school. But studying is not everything.
Don’t you need friends? Someone who shares their feelings with you and someone to share your feelings with? A person asked me whether a test was difficult for me and I was overjoyed because one person asked me. Right now I need some notes and I don’t have courage to ask anybody. The lack of notes is going to show up on my mid terms.
It would be very nice of you if you replied .
FROM Suzie: I can only imagine how difficult it would be to leave everything that is familiar and to land in a new country.
I asked you for permission to share your e-mail, because I think that it is important for teens to share their thoughts with you.
First, thank you so much that you shared what you are going through. I think sometimes that we get so comfortable in our circle of friends, or in our own environment that we forget that others might be not as comfortable.
This weekend I went to a party. I stood outside the circle of people, looking for an opportunity to make a new friend, or to join the conversation. They talked to each other and ignored anyone outside their group of friends. It was as if I were invisible. I stood there for several minutes, and then quietly slipped away. I’m not shy. I’m not accustomed to being “shut out”. It was a weird feeling. But I tried, and this one incident won’t keep me from trying again when I’m in a group of strangers.
I hope that you will do a couple of things: 1) Break out of your comfort zone and introduce yourself to one or two people. They might not respond, but maybe they will. You are worth knowing. You have a great deal to offer a new friend. You can share a different perspective. You may find a great new friend.
2) Join a club. What is your passion? Do you love music? Art? Reading? Kickboxing? Join a club so that you can get to know people in smaller groups.
3) Write a blog. Sometimes you can make the best friends online (be careful, however). Go to blogger.com and start a blog that will reach out to other people who are searching for a new friend. Write in it three or four times a week, and get to know new people.
Last, I want to hear from the teens who read Real Teen Faith. What does this girl’s question show you? Are there people who are in your class or church who are looking for a new friend? Are you willing to expand your circle of friends? Are you willing to learn about a new culture, or to share your own culture with someone else?
Let’s talk about this!
Ashley says:
This shows me what most of us know… it’s hard to move to a new place.
For those of you who go to school with this girl, please get to know her. Spend some time with her, and make her feel welcome.
To the Girl, like Suzy said, join a club that has something to do with a passion of yours. And reach out to someone else. Let them know that your interested in getting to know them.
If you need to talk, you can leave me a comment on my blogger, and i’ll do what i can!!!
Love through Jesus,
Ashley
Lydia Rule says:
Hey!
Definitely find a club that you can join. If you like writing (poetry, stories, whatever) then you can check out the writing group I belong to. There’s a link to the group’s website on the side of the Real Teen Faith blog spot.
Peer pressure is always tough to deal with, especially when everyone ignores you. We’ve all been there. But the amazing thing is, God NEVER leaves you. Period. When you’re lonely, it helps to remember that He is with you and He knows what you’re feeling.
Om Christ,
-Lydia Rule
Jade says:
I just wanna say “hi” to the teenage girl from India.
I’m Jade–an American girl. I’m also shy. I’m a Christian, though I have online contacts from all over the world, and from all different beliefs!
I would LOVE to get to know you better through email. Could we be friends?
My email address is diamond_1190 @ yahoo.com
your friend,
Jade
diamond_1190 @ yahoo.com