November 20, 2006
By: Jade West
“Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God:” ~Psalms 143:10a
I’ve sang the song countless times. I’ve said the words: Have thine own way, during prayer. But my heart never REALLY meant them.
What I mean when I say those words is, Have thine own way, Lord, just don’t let your will make me uncomfortable or inconvenience me.
Or even worse: Have thine own way, Lord, just let your will be my will.
But our wills are seldom aligned.
His will is holy and just.
Mine is…selfish. Really selfish.
Recently, I met another young lady (who’s name I won’t reveal) for the first time. We didn’t really talk. We just exchanged a few brief comments.
It wasn’t a pleasant time. She appeared impatient and rude, but I dismissed it from my mind as soon as I left the scene of our meeting. I knew we’d meet again, so I figured there was no use in holding grudges.
I later learned this young lady claimed I had been rude to her.
I was outraged!
To say I was rude, wasn’t just incorrect–no, it was a lie. If anyone had been rude or shown even the slightest hint of unkindness, it had been this other young lady. Not me.
I told my mom this. She listened for a few minutes then suggested that perhaps I should just apologize. Apologize? Me? What for? What had I done?
I grunted and went in search of my younger sisters. They listened for a few minutes. But eventually went back to their games.
Finally, when I’d exhausted all other people with which to voice my complaint, I told God. “You know I wasn’t rude, Lord. I’m the one being wronged here.”
Apologize, I heard God tell me. Apologize–the word sounded strangely familiar…
“But it’s not fair, God! I’m the one who’s innocent! I’m the one who’s been wronged-”
“So have I been also. I am innocent. I have been wronged. If anyone has any right to bear a grudge, then certainly it is your most high Lord who was condemned to a sinner’s death, having done nothing wrong.”
Suddenly, I stopped.
Apologize, Jesus whispered again to my heart.
I sighed. “Lord, you don’t understand. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Is it not better to suffer a wrong than to turn someone away from me in anger? Do you not represent me in whatever you do–bad or good?”
I squirmed in my seat but refused to say I’d apologize…until Jesus asked my stubborn heart, “What if you’re the only glimpse she’ll ever see of me?”
I thought about that for a moment. I thought about heaven and hell, but more than that I thought about the horrible things that go on in our society. What if I WAS the only glimpse she’d ever see of Jesus’ love? Would she be able to see His love evident in my life? In my attitude?
Asking silent forgiveness for my stubborness, I promised to apologize next time I see the girl.
BIO: Jade still hasn’t seen the other young lady again. But she’ll keep her promise to the Lord and apologize at the first oppurtunity. Jade now reconizes that the words “have thine own way” aren’t something to be taken lightly but a commitment to obedience!
T. Suzanne Eller says:
Thanks, Jade, for joining RTF! Awesome first post. : )
Jade says:
Thank you!