October 6, 2006
Oh first things first: I saw you on myspace and ur link..I’m a Christian and 23 years of age. Still in college and having sex problems.I like girls and they like me cause of course I’m handsome. But the problem is, they want the thing I biblically am not supposed to have. As a result I am questioning what the bible says on the subject.What is wrong in having sex? Why did God create women in the first place and give them those sexy body shapes?Forgive my for sounding backslidy. It’s just that I’m curious.
RTF Response:
Daniel,
I guess it depends on how you define sex. Sometimes (most times) it is defined as a hookup. Casual. Go with the feelings. Walk away the next day.
That’s not sex as God defined. It’s a spiritual, physical, and emotional act. It’s founde
d on respect and love and nurturing the other person. It’s waking up with that person the next day, and the next, and 25 years from then. It’s wanting the best for another. It’s caring about them so much that you want to do what is best for them.
Hookups are a “me first” mentality and miss the mark by a mile.
I know many beautiful 20-somethings who have bought into the “God gave them sexy shapes and I need to take advantage of that” or “He’s so hot, let me run with the feelings” and in EVERY case — not just one or two, but over 20 years and hundreds and hundreds of young adults that I’ve met in ministry, it did not fulfill their deepest needs, leaving them in the end — empty — though perhaps sexually satiated.
Why does God create beautiful women — his daughters? Because he has a plan for them, Daniel. Because they are valuable in his sight. In fact, when scripture shares how to treat a mate/a woman, it says that a man is to treat her like Christ treated the church — sacrificial love, what is best for her in the long run, giving up what he desires so that she can find hope and healing and joy.
Go back. Read your question. Is this what you offer women? Is this the mate you will one day be?
These are the characteristics — the inside stuff — you can work on while you wait for the right person at the right time: integrity, humility, joy, gentleness, unselfishness, loyalty, commitment. . . and that’s what will make you the man she is looking for in the long run.
Thanks for such an honest question.
Suzie
Anonymous says:
oh yeah we attract one another
like glue on paper…
the answer is when
we are afraid of
doing anything the wrong way
the only right thing to do is
fill that slot with God.
after all he made us and our feelings.
so tell Him god plez take my hand
because these feeling are driving me insane.. and see what happens next.
Frannie Farmer says:
Excellent answer Susan. I am going to hang on to it!
Thanks for stopping by my place. I will be visiting your blogs often, I can tell already!
Frannie