June 27, 2006
~Real Question~
Hi,
I am going into my senior year. I just started dating this boy a few months ago. The other night I felt the need to share my past junk with him. My freshman year I cut, only twice, and that was it. I had been struggling socially, acidemically, and my family situation has never been wonderful. I was playing basketball at the time and my coach did a 
good job of lowering my self-esteem. I had also gotten out of a very short term relationship with a boy that used me.
I have not cut since and I don’t want to be revisiting this place (the one that even talks about cutting). But my boyfriend feels that I still should seek help. I have not let it define me, and I feel that God has forgiven me and healed me.
What are my potential benefits of seeking help? it has been two and a half years and they still don’t know. I know that I need to tell them, so if you have any advice that would be great.
Thanks!
*~Marisa~*
~RT Faith Response~
Hi Marisa,
It’s awesome that you’ve grasped the depth of God’s love for you and that healing has taken place. If you feel that you’ve truly moved on, share that with your boyfriend.
But share it with one more set of people as well. Set aside a time where you can have some one-on-one with your mom and dad. Tell them where you are now spiritually and emotionally, and then come clean about the past. Tell them why you cut, and how it made you feel, and how grateful you are that you found something much more powerful to help you deal with emotional pain.
Let them know that if you ever feel the urge to cut again, or if you need help emotionally that you’ll let them be a part of the process.
This closes the door on that chapter of your life. There’s no hidden secrets. There’s no reason to be ashamed. It’s all out on the table. You are now in a different season of your life, covered by the grace and healing of a Savior who loves you so much.
I think it’s awesome that you have people that care about you. I think it’s cool that you want to get real with your mom and dad. I want you to know in advance that they might not understand. They might also be afraid, because self-injury can be a scary thing to a parent. But honesty is such a key ingredient to moving past the past. Let them know that you’ll always be honest with them and that you trust that they’ll pray with you and be strong with you as you step into the next part of your life.
RTF
Paulette says:
Hello,
I linked into your site after reading a comment your wrote. I enjoyed your site very much. I too am now starting to do some speaking based around my tragic childhood and into my early adulthood. I have spoken at a couple of schools, to kids, about abuse, Bullemia, and self injury. All of which I have suffered with severly. Thankyou for your site and reaching out.