April 5, 2006
Battlecry for a Generation. .
Earlier I shared how 25,000 teens showed up in SanFrancisco and how adults brought protest signs, and how a local assemblymen even issued an edict against the “teens and their message of hatred”.
Do you feel th
ere is a need for a battlecry? Not to fix you. You are amazing. One of the most intelligent generations ever.
But this is the deal. There is a growing brokenness among many teens as they sift through the cultural messages to find truth. I’m receiving e-mails daily from teens asking questions that rock my world at times.
According to Ron Luce, founder of Teen Mania, many adults point out what is wrong with teens, but fail to take responsibility for their actions — or lack of.
Is it teens sitting in board rooms making decisions about media? Ads? Programming? Or is it adults brainstorming, trying to find another angle more edgier than the last to target (their words, not mine) the teen market?
Is it teens breaking up families? No, it’s children and teens having to sort through what is left of the family to find their safe place.
Ron is calling compassionate, caring adults to step up and walk with teens through their culture.
The next speaker, Dr. Chuck Stecker, suggested this — intergenerational ministry. Helping teens connect with the church family early (see yesterday’s post on what it means to have a church family). He wants teens to know that they have a place to go once they leave youth church.
He also says that adulthood doesn’t begin in the 20’s, like our culture stresses, but that you are a man and a woman much earlier in life. I’m reading his book right now (Men of Honor and Women of Virtue) and it’s a fascinating look at this topic of maturity and mentorship.
Eva Marie Everson and her daughter, Jessica, are the authors of Sex, Media, and Lies. Tough title, but a balanced book. It was cool to hear Jessica’s take on culture, and how she lost her way fairly early in life. Their video was eye-opening.
And then I spoke. I shared culture from a different POV, sharing your thoughts and observations after talking to hundreds of teens on a ton of subjects including sex, faith, family, broken relationships, and more. I shared the things you said that you needed from parents to make it in your world.
The response was amazing–to all of the topics.
I saw parents who desperately wanted to connect with you, who were willing to go the extra mile to support you.
What about you? What do you need from the adults in your life? What would you say that is the most difficult or the most amazing thing about being a Christian teen?
~Real Advice~
Hi.
I have a question for you. How do I get my mom to allow me to date an older guy? I have recently been dating a guy four years older than me for the past 14 days. My mom knows of him, but doesn’t allow me to hang out with him, even though I do every day and night.
Ill be 17 in two months and he will be 22 in eight months. My mom thinks hes’ out to get me for sex, but I dont think so at all.I asked him why he doesn’t want to be with an older girl his age and he said ‘because you have everything an older girl has, so whats the difference?’
He likes the fact that I work and have a job and pay bills. I’m actually doing something with my life. I’ve tried to tell my mom that, but she just doesnt listen. His age is stuck in her mind. How can I get my mom to allow me to date him???
Amanda
RT Response: Honestly, I think your mom must really care for you.
You say that she said no, but you are with him every night and day. You are 16 and he’s 22. He’s saying that you have all that he wants — you work, you pay bills, you have a job.
But what is he doing? What is his life goal? Is it to find a girl to take care of him?
It’s awesome that you are doing things with your life, but not so cool that you lie to your mom.
You need to honor her wisdom, and the fact that she is looking out for you. It’s flattering to have an older guy who likes you, but what does he bring to the relationship? Is he willing to deceive your mom? Then what about integrity? That’s a huge thing to want and need in a person and relationship.
Is he graduated from college or pursuing education? If so, why not? Is he financially able to take care of you at some point in the future? If not, why would you want that?
Is he a man of God. Is he honorable? Does he want the best for you? Is he unselfish? Does he watch out for you and NEVER ask anything that could harm you in the present or future?
If you can’t answer 100% positive on those questions, then my question is why not? What do you want for your future? Not just now — not just feelings, but in your mate for life?
Instead of asking how you could get your mom to allow you to date an older guy, the real question is “how can I listen to my parent and hear what she’s really trying to say and honor that?” and “how can I honor God and myself by making choices that make sense and aren’t based on feelings?”.
Amanda, get real sweetheart. Please don’t accept less than you should. I see girls do it all the time and then one day they wise up, usually when it’s too late.
Please talk with your mom and share your goals — your real-life goals and your faith goals — and pursue them with her support.
Suzie
Soldier of ONE says:
That’s awesome that you can counsel people like that. It’s really weird, but I have people do that kind of stuff to me. Friends will kinda just start telling me their problems! I guess I’m a magnet for people who need to talk about their issues.